


Ohana means family.

by tonyscapsicle



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Jane/Thor, Clint and Laura Barton's Family, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Bucky/Pepper, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hydra is going to get its ass kicked, Kid Fic, M/M, Mutual Pining, Natasha does too, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Pepper Potts is a permanent resident of the tower even if it is called the Avengers tower, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony knows about Hydra in Shield, background Bruce/Natasha - Freeform, fight me, soft boys in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:28:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24200608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonyscapsicle/pseuds/tonyscapsicle
Summary: Steve traced the faint white mark of an old scar on Tony's hand as held Tony closer.He gazed softly at the genius with that stupidly beautiful smile that made Tony feel dopey, "Let others take care of you, for once. Let me take care of you. Family, right?"And god, all Tony wanted to do was that as he rested his head on the warm chest and took comfort in the steady heartbeats.OrThe one in which Tony Stark has been hoarding people as family since forever, protecting them. It's time he lets others do it for him.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	1. Dibs on Godfather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm too much in love with them. All I wanted was a ball of fluff and I ended up writing this. No regrets though, damnit. I'm loving this.

Tony took a shaky breath strengthening himself as he took a sharp turn, pushing the repulsors to their max power to chase the missile racing towards the city. 

"And I know just where to put it." 

He latched onto the missile, maneuvering it to the angles displayed on his HUD. His eyes scanned the rest of the calculations as Cap's voice echoed in his ear, "Stark, you know that's a one way trip." And somehow he didn't have neither the strength nor the time to analyse the tone in the Captain's voice. 

"Save the rest for the turn, J.", Tony commanded, his mind gushing with various possibilities which frustratingly gave one outcome. 

"Sir, maybe-" 

"Try Ms.Potts. Might as well.", Tony interrupted in a haste, watching Pepper's photo pop in the corner of his HUD.

"Tony? What's going on?", Pepper's trembling voice sounded after some seconds which felt too less. _Too late._

"Guess Rhodey gets to be the godfather in my place. Please let the little munchkin know I loved them already." He tried to get the message across calmly as he stared towards the approaching Stark Tower.

It was scary how the sight of that tower just hours ago felt like one of the best things happening to him and now it was probably one of the last things Tony Stark saw. _Irony, huh?_

"I swear if you pull one of those Expo things trying to die on me-" She didn't let herself finish the sentence as she chose another way. "He's in the tower, you know. James."

Tony cursed as he saw the red spot beeping in the Tower structure displayed on the HUD. "Well, tell him he'll be a great dad. Don't let him fall. Love you, Pep." The call ended abruptly as he zoomed into the gut-wrenchingly dark hole counting seconds left.

His eyes glazed as the missile hit the Chitauri mother ship and he could swear that he could feel the waves of the explosion as he fell down and down and down. 

The stars twinkled and the thought of how he was just a man in a tin can unaware of the danger looming over them in this large universe, in which they were apparently not alone as he believed just hours ago, pierced through him. 

This would've been a good way to die but it didn't feel that way. Ignoring the throbbing in every fibre of his body, he let loose and closed his eyes, giving up. _Giving in._

And darkness was certainly not a stranger when she engulfed him.

•••

Steve stared at the wormhole with bated breath not knowing what he was painfully hoping for but completely aware that he'd have to call it.

The Chitauria falling around him in varying thuds felt like a background buzz. He heard Romanoff's soft _'C'mon, Stark.'_ but he felt too blinded by the light of the blast which shone through the dark hole contrasting with the blue cloudy sky around it. 

A part of him knew this memory will be ingrained in his mind, drawn and painted over a hundred times till it becomes muscle memory because that's the only way he knew how to cope with this. 

Steve wished he could hear his Ma tell him once more that he was strong enough and she'd love him no matter what. He wished he could see Bucky clap his back and say that he would stay till the end of the line one more time. 

He dreaded knowing that Stark would just disappear, not even leaving a body behind, just like Bucky. No closure of seeing them one last time, even if they were just still faces and cold bodies. He jolted out of his thoughts and looked at Thor who was looking at him in dreadful anticipation. 

"Close it.", he said weakly. "Close it.", he repeated again to assure himself, hearing a thundering noise as the blue light pulsing with power, which held the wormhole open, collapsed. In the second following, the hole started collapsing on itself. He averted his eyes knowing he couldn't watch it anymore. 

A fresh wave of pain rippled through him as he realised he lost one of his own again. Yes, they met and they clashed and he said some things that he'd never say, misjudging this complex man but still, he was one of Steve's. His team.

He wished he knew Stark more, wished he had apologized or just done anything. Anything so he would've gotten to talk to him because it felt too big of a loss losing Stark when he barely knew him. 

He heard a sharp inhale of breath and his head snapped upwards just in time to see Stark come through. "Son of a gun", he breathed out. 

The tiniest burst of happiness quickly dried away as he realized that Stark was falling. "He's not slowing down.", Thor said, swinging his hammer ready to catch Stark. 

A roar sounded as Hulk caught the suit of armor and landed on the road in a blink of an eye. Abandoning his shield, he ran behind Thor towards them. 

Thor turned the suit, ripping away the mask as Steve bent to hear, desperately hoping that Stark was still breathing. Pulling away when he heard nothing, his hand slid on the armor's chest towards the blue light which had gone off. The _arc reactor_ , the file had stated, kept him alive. 

The pang of pain spread through him again seeing Stark's still face. He looked up seeing Hulk back away and flinched as Hulk roared deafeningly loud. A sound made his head snap back towards the man lying down to see him looking around frantically saying _'what the hell'_ in a raspy voice. 

"What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me." 

Steve looked up and breathed out in realisation, "We won."

He looked back at Stark to find him staring back at him. He could feel himself heating up but he pointedly ignored his possibly flushed skin. Because by then had begun the babbling. 

"Alright, hey. Alright, good job guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is but I wanna try it." Tony went on. 

Steve couldn't stop the grin over this ridiculous man in front of him. Tony. Only Tony could do that. As far as he'd seen. 

"We're not finished yet.", Thor said. They all turned to look at him. Steve felt tired. His bones ached. All he wanted to do was get out of here. Or get onto that shawarma offer. But he knew they had to finish this. 

"And then shawarma after.", came Tony's voice. And if his smile slipped back on his face again, no one had to know. 

•••

Tony felt like he was on drugs. Or maybe just adrenaline. Or 'back-from-the-dead-but-not-really' thrill. Whomsoever was responsible for naming it but he felt high. 

He walked onto the open ramp for Iron Man's landing when Jarvis alerted him of the call. 

"When you're finished, you'll come back to the tower where I'll pummel some sense into you. Got it?" Bucky's deadly monotonic voice filled his ear.

"Oh c'mon. Give me some credit. Also you didn't tell me you were in the tower or even New York, Pep did.", Tony tried diverting, running his eyes over the expanse of New York and

* * *

feeling another wave of relief spread through his body.

Bucky's voice softened and Tony could somehow imagine how soft his face might have gone, "Credit? If you make it out alive, sure. Just come back home tonight soon. Pepper will be here but Rhodey is stuck with his asshole superiors and Happy has to go check on someone later. I'll make sure my girlfriend doesn't stab you with her stilettos."

Tony felt his eyes burn as he chimed back, "Pepper just might. That was the second time she thought I was dying on her. I need to go though. Love you, Barnes." He felt this overwhelming need to gather everyone he loved in a pile and sleep on them like a dragon on its hoard. 

There was a stretch of silence on the other side with an undertone of shaky breaths but he could hear the hurried words clearly, "I love you too. Come back soon." just as a click ending the call sounded back. 

Tony turned back just in time to catch the Captain's eyes. Another worry of how he was going to explain this insanity of a new world and Bucky being alive and everything to the Captain coursed through him. That was for him to worry on another day.

Except if Pepper did tell Bucky tonight that she was pregnant with their child. And then another amusing worry of how he'll have one more competitor for the godfather part because he sure as hell wasn't giving it up to Rhodes. If Cap even handled it before having an aneurysm.

He gave a small smile to Cap. But what surprised him was seeing Steve smile back. For a moment, he felt like he could handle that aneurysm and much more. And with that Steve Rogers turned back to help those shady agents as Tony walked back to see Barton and Natasha nursing some drinks. 

He nodded towards Romanoff, taking off towards the minibar after seeing her following him. "The Captain's not safe there.", Tasha muttered under her breath. 

"He won't be there for long, Widow. Just cover up for me when we're out for shawarma, you're good at that.", Tony responded with his back turned, toying with the bottom of the bar to open a stash of tech. 

He grabbed the phone lying in a corner and stuffed it in his pocket just as he heard Nat speaking again, "Coulson's gone. We'll have to do it alone. Clint's not safe there. If you're gonna snatch Cap, then snatch Clint too. And Dr. Banner. I'll play along." 

Tony looked back at her, eyes narrowing in an assumption that she understood, "Look, something's happening in that SHIELD-HYDRA mumbo-jumbo, something worse. I will absolutely not compromise the safety of this tower. And seeing those agents, I can bet they're on the skull-y octopus-y side of things. This will be the last time SHIELD got in here."

He turned and glared at the agents dismissively, "So you need to start devising your witchy masterplan about how you're gonna get them here without suspicions, scary lady. Pirate-boss should not know, I need confirmation he's good. I am not gonna let Bruce get away at all though. So do something to get them all out."

She sighed, "I'll look into it. Keep the channel open. I'll talk to you later. Also I call dibs on Godmother. And tell JARVIS that I need a reaction video of Pepper telling Barnes about it.", a genuine smile popped on Natashalie's face for a fraction of a second. With that she took off towards Barton who was cautiously eyeing them. _Normal._

After the agreement, _more like argument,_ of Thor taking Loki and the sceptre and the tesseract back to Asgard, they all finally escaped to the Shawarma joint. 

When everybody was heading towards the table ready to drop and scarf down anything that appeared before them, Clint lightly tapped on Tony's arm, carefully not touching enough to alert him. "You should hide him better."

Tony winced internally but didn't show it at all, continuing walking nonchalantly. "How'd you know?", he murmured.

"I'm not called Hawkeye for nothing. Just things around your living room. And connecting dots.", Clint replied smugly. Tony pushed past him muttering _'Hawkass'_ under his breath.

•••

It took all of his strength to keep himself upright on the table. Steve barely escaped faceplanting into the said shawarma a couple of times. And god, it tasted heavenly. That was one of the best things of this century. _The goddamn food._

He heard when Tony offered a car to drop them back to SHIELD, but he stayed quiet letting others take the decision. Turning towards both the agents, he fully expected them to decline but instead got tired nods.

"Great.", Tony muttered as he stood up walking towards the counter to talk to the lady who was looking a little dazed, while whipping out his phone and tapping out god-knows-what fast. Which was more frightening since he didn't crash into anything on the way.

Learning how far the tech had progressed still shook him. Maybe that was also one of the best things of this century. _The goddamn tech._

Just as everyone was walking out, he felt a small hand tugging him back cautiously. He turned to see Natasha, but before he could get a word out he was being passed to Tony who had suddenly appeared on his other side settling on his other arm out of thin air. 

Steve could see Natasha gesture something to Tony out of the corner of his eye before she walked away but Tony held on, tightening his fingers and loosening them rhythmically.

Tony's hand on his arm slipped slowly and grabbed his hand. His fingers cool against Steve's ever-warm skin, slipping a cold object into it and pressing his fingers close over it before Steve could see it.

"It's a phone. Make sure you're alone when you switch it on. JARVIS will tell you everything but still be careful, alright?", Tony said looking at him in the eye with intensity as if to make sure that he will follow through without mistakes. Steve nodded weakly, unsure of what even was going on around him. 

"Okay. Stay safe.", Tony whispered as the once sharp brown eyes turned into soft brown doe eyes right in front of Steve sending a shiver through him. 

His eyes ran over all of Tony's face and he felt a tug inside him as he responded with an equally soft _'okay'_ when Tony's hand squeezed his once before pulling away. Tony's eyes felt like one of those _memories,_ never seen before yet filled in his head.

With a nod, they both walked out casually as Steve slipped the phone in one of the subtle pockets in his suit, patting it in assurance. The slight eye contact between Natasha and Tony didn't go unnoticed by Steve and, as it seemed, Barton. 

Thor took off Thor-knows-where but Dr. Banner, Clint, Tony and Natasha stayed back. After a horrifyingly slow pile up in the car and the slow lulling movements of driving them back to the safehouse assigned, which drove them half-asleep, it took quite possibly what felt like a decade to reach there. 

Nodding off, Natasha was the first to walk out perfectly like she hadn't just fought off an alien army with Clint in tandem who seemed like he could draw an arrow the next second but still was blank faced in exhaustion. They both stopped midway looking at Steve in expectancy.

Steve breathed out, making eye contact with Tony before turning away towards the safehouse where all he wanted to do was scrub everything off his skin and sleep for a week. 

Falling into step with the others, he didn't fail to notice Tony answering a call with his babbling _'I'm sorry. This was the last time I called you when I was almost dying, promise. I love you?'_ He looked at Natasha questioningly whose lips had quirked up in a corner. "That's Ms.Potts.", she responded with mischievous amusement. 

Steve shrugged it off thinking she was probably Tony's dame. _Well, ofcourse he had one._ He had a good heart, against what Steve's prior judgy self or magic-stick-affected self had said. Also Tony was strikingly good-looking, attractive moreso. _Like too much._ And his eyes were nice. _Like too nice._ And Steve should probably stop thinking about Tony too much. _Like now._

_•••_

Tony waited in the car, watching Pepper thank the other driver while walking firmly towards his car. Happy rolled up the barrier clearly sensing the tension just as Pepper slid into the car, gracefully shutting the door and looking out of the window as Happy started driving.

Tony waited for her to scold him, scream at him, anything. That was what he was expecting after the unnaturally silent phone call asking him to pick her up. 

"Please tell me you won't abandon me after this. Or give away my godfather position to Rhodey-bear. I'll grovel all my life.", he tried joking but her shaky breaths were what broke him. His heart thudded as he gathered Pepper in his arms apologizing again and again.

She looked up at him with a wet laugh which sounded more miserable, "How many times? Do you even have the slightest idea how scared I was? Just watching the news of aliens on the top of our building I panicked so hard that JARVIS had to call James and god, if it wasn't for him. I just wish that that man didn't watch you fly that nuke into that hellhole himself because I did and I'm going to get a fuck-ton of nightmares over this."

"I don't even know.", Tony shrugged. "I can't promise this won't happen again. After what I saw, I can't promise anything except I'll try to not give you anymore heart attacks. But we both know that's not true." He said just as Pepper scoffed with an _'as if'._

"I'm waiting for all of it to hit me. I don't think it has yet. Or I'm probably just desensitized to death. I'm not sure what I'm feeling except for the fact that right now _I do not want to talk about this or even think about this._ Some things are seared in my brain and I need to sit back and analyse it. Calculate the extent of damage that has happened and preparation I need to do to not let this happen again. I can't now, though.", Tony felt as if his heart had shriveled over those shrapnels.

"Nobody's asking you to.", Pepper whispered, letting her fingers trace weird circles on her pant-clad leg. "I'm so sentimental, these hormones. Well, it's not you who had to rush to a hospital in LA to find out you're pregnant? That's a good part in your life.", she sighed and slumped back in her place.

"Which one is the good part? Me not being pregnant?", Tony nudged her as she smacked his hand away. He could sense that something was nagging her. "Okay. What are you worrying over? Bucky's gonna die in happiness."

A smile tugged on her face, "Oh, I want him very much alive. Tony, still. Even though he knows that he's not in their clutches anymore, he still has that massive burden of guilt he likes shouldering on his own. He is waiting for the day when someone will barge in and take him away. Those HYDRA men or the law." 

Tony could feel the knot in his throat, "We have worked our asses off collecting everything we will need to prove his innocence. Moreover his recent trek of destroying some of their bases alongside the same law swings in his favour. You know the judge, who me and Rhodey were pestering, she said he's safe as long as all the cards are played well. And play them good, we will."

It was as if waves of worry were coming off of her, "That I am sure of. I'm not letting him go for the rest of his goddamn life. I'm afraid he will. In fear. Or feeling that he should protect me and our kid. I don't want him to do that. The last thing I need is for James to disappear. Or not get to be a part of my life. Our life."

Tony surely took his time mulling over everything. He took a deep breath again feeling the car stop, "He won't." Pepper looked at him in hope. "Bucky's here for good. I am still betting that he'll fall down, if not faint, when you tell him. Which I'm hoping is today because I don't think I can keep my mouth shut for long. And we also need to find a way to not give the Captain aneurysms, he seems kinda nice"

Pepper had relaxed completely and Tony could feel that she understood. He could feel that she had let it go for now hoping this was gonna be okay. He had his fears but he believed in both of them. Had for a long time.

Pepper tugged on his arm, "Nice, huh? C'mon, I'll even talk to James to let you be the godfather. I miss him too much and I need to crawl in his lap as fast as I can. Probably after a shower." 

"Please do not tell me what you do in your personal time.", Tony scrunched up his face. 

Smacking him on the head and getting out of the car, she smoothed the creases on her pants and looked at Tony, "I'm gonna go take a shower. And you're gonna tell him all about what you're planning to do with your team of super-people. And then I'm gonna cling all over him right in your presence." 

Pepper gave him a mocking smile as she took off towards the private elevator leaving Tony to traipse behind her like a lost duckling. He turned back to see Happy in assurance but the man all but shooed him away muttering about how he needed to check up on some woman's kid.

He broke into a jog to catch up with Pepper, being the last in the elevator but somehow being the first fucking person to come face-to-face with Bucky _gonna-kill-you_ Barnes pacing in circles in the living room as the elevator opened. 

For once he wanted to cower behind Pepper as Bucky took long strides ending up right in front of him. A flash of metal struck out and he was suddenly completely encompassed in a familiar warm hug. 

"I don't have it in me to reprimand you right now. Can we just all curl up in a place together and never get up? Or atleast get up when I remember everything I wanted to pummel you over?" Bucky mumbled as Tony nodded feeling the vibrations where his head was resting near the supersoldier's throat. 

Bucky pulled away, holding Tony at arm's length scanning him all over when suddenly Bucky got an armful of Pepper apologising for interrupting but folding herself in his body with her face tucked in the curve of his neck. And that was all Tony saw before he stepped back letting them have comfort in each other's presence.

He could hear Pepper let out small whimpers, letting her lose herself completely because she knew Bucky would take care of her without a doubt. He walked back to the mini bar getting himself a drink as the exhaustion hit him like a freight train.

His head felt filled with blurry memories of the stars and the heat of the blast that he knew he had imagined because there was no way he felt it. He felt shivers wrack through his body as he made his way to the couch on shaky legs to sit down before he crashed.

The familiar soft noises of Bucky talking Pepper through her exhaustion and assuring her that she was safe all the while cocooning her in warm hugs and equally warm kisses seemed to calm a part inside Tony. Atleast something felt normal for once. 

He closed his eyes and he let himself drift off. It felt like as if a second later he was choking on air, _or perhaps lack of air,_ that seemed too familiar to the time they were waterboarding him but this time it was in space, looking at the wormhole close below him and falling into an infinite something. And no one would ever find him ever again. It would be fitting. 

His only grief would be leaving his little family of his best friends and robots and his AI. But he wouldn't feel it if he was fighting for his last breaths of air, would he?

He had hated silences since he was a kid, they felt too loud as compared to his head which kept running and running and never stopping. He never wanted it to. But now as he was hating that silence of being alone more than ever, his head would stop forever. Then his heart would and somehow in this miserable world, it won't be because of the shrapnel in it. And then he would be gone.

He felt far from chaotic. He had imagined what death would be like after some close calls; he had imagined it to be chaotic and all-fighting because that would be how Tony Stark would go. He had never imagined a calm death or for-fucks-sake a content death because it felt foolish to dream of it.

But this was it, he thought. Not content, like the time Jarvis and Ana smiled at him like he was the best thing ever or breathing his Mama's perfume, that he had loved all his life, that night before he was going to lose her or the cocoon of love and warmth Pepper and Bucky radiate or the ever-assuring presence of Rhodey all his life or the jovial pride he felt midst his creations, his children. _No_. 

This felt like the horrifyingly calm one, slipping away. He could feel himself dusting away. Shaking. So hard that his bones rattled. He felt cold. And distant. And dead. And he could hear whispers of 'its okay' echoing through him. Increasing slowly as he fell out of himself more.

The dimmed light still blinded him as he opened his eyes hearing Bucky chatting about how _'its okay'_ and _'i am shit scared of meeting Steve again.'_ and _'would you stay when I meet him?'_

Tony spent a good amount of time staring at the ceiling, his eyes tracing the sharp lines of the patterns. Sighing he looked at Bucky blearily blinking the tears out, a slight nod as he listened to Bucky drone on sitting beside him and the sound of Pepper rhythmically tapping her nails on the glass table. He had been probably sleeping , _or whatever this half memory-half nightmare thing was,_ for long if they were both here, showered and changed.

"I looked through the fridge for leftovers and I hate that you had Italian again without me. Why do you both do that when I'm not here? Is it a cruel code or something? Leaving little pasta leftovers for me to mope over? But still I heated up some food and I am really really hungry so you need to sit up and tell me you're okay because I'm also running out of non-depressing things to talk about?", Bucky took a last finishing breath. 

A weird chuckle left his throat as he threw a pillow on Bucky and gathered all his energy to whine at both of them so they would bring the food over to him rather than Pepper dragging them both to the dining table. Well, that was exactly what he was gonna do _before_ he saw Pepper wearing her ' _PMSing-so-fucking-hard'_ pajamas.

He raised his heavy head, ignoring everything that happened to glare at Pepper, "You can't wear those pajamas when you aren't on periods. It's cheating. You literally can't wear them for a long long time."

Pepper glared back at him knowing what was coming as Bucky let out a confused noise. "You had a nightmare on the couch, please don't make me punch you for opening your mouth at the wrong time.", Pepper threatened him.

"I told you I have no patience. I'm allowed to be blunt after I nearly died."

"You are not allowed to joke about this so soon. In fact, you are not allowed to joke about it ever."

"I'm sorry, okay. But seriously, Pep, when?"

"Okay, shut up. I'm trying to act cool, gathering courage and all. And I'm saying that out loud. I should stop staying around you two and ditch you both for Nat."

"Oh-kay. Low blow. Not that low, but still-"

Bucky interrupted Tony, standing up and glancing at Pepper, "Okay. That's it, I'm done. If you do not start spilling whatever it's bothering you since you stepped in here, I'm gonna leave you both here, take away all the leftovers, switch on a disgusting reality TV show on the highest volume and ignore you both all night."

"Punishing me, huh?", Tony grinned back at them still teasing, hoping he had not overpressured them into doing this. He can be impulsive, at times. 

"Okay. Enough.", Pepper bursted. "If this goes wrong, I'm drowning your company.". She glared at Tony before walking upto where Bucky was standing and looking at him dead in the eyes, blurting out, "I'm pregnant."

Probably just a second later, Bucky sat down on the couch. _Fell down more like._ And probably more seconds later, just after Tony was feeling too good over how exactly what he predicted had happened but was still afraid of Bucky's response, the aforementioned man shot up straight half-screaming as if it just hit him, "We're gonna be parents? Together?" 

Tony wanted to snort and poke fun at Bucky but he knew better than to interrupt their moment. He just happens to be the third wheel, every fucking time, including the time his best friend tells her man, who is his other best friend, about them making _tiny thems_.

It was quickly followed by another burst, "Holy shit. I'm gonna be a dad. Shut up. What? No. What?" as he laughed crazily looking up at Pepper in wonder, his eyes manic and his hands hovering close over her in disbelief before he wrapped both of them around her, pulling her into his chest. 

"God, I love you so much.", Bucky continued as if in a haste to get it all out before he spontaneously combusted. Running his hands through her locks, he looked disbelievingly at Tony who grinned wide pointing at himself mouthing ' _dibs on godfather'_ , which led to another burst of manic laugh.

By now, he hoped Pepper would understand that everything she feared over was nothing. Tony hoped that he'd be enough to protect them and that kid and everyone, knowing that the buzz of paranoia would stay under his skin until he made sure he could keep them safe and the acknowledgement that he won't be sleeping properly for a long time. 

But he was happy. There was a point in that day several hours ago, he felt like he had lost all of his family and he had never loved being this wrong. He felt grateful for being a part of this happiness.

He slipped away to the kitchen grinning at himself lazily as he gathered the food and carried it back to the couch, switching on a reality TV show obnoxiously loud and letting them both have their moment of peace, _which wasn't because Bucky was being a blabbering idiot and Pepper spent half her time laughing at that._

And that is exactly how a tired _happy_ genius and dizzy _happy_ CEO got a handful of hyperactive _happy_ supersoldier who kept them awake all night talking about his future kid.

If Tony had JARVIS already record all of this, sending it to Natashalie and Rhodey-bear in the morning and saving it up for _hopefully_ Steve because god-knows that that man needed all of this more than Tony did, that was no one's business but his.


	2. Therapeutic cannolis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve Rogers is the sweetest human ever. And if I couldn't resist writing a fuck ton of fluff and angst over him, I'm only human. 
> 
> Also, maybe I just take too much fun in making him and Tony fall for each other and then pine beyond belief. 
> 
> I know he is always shown as this focused, strong leader, so the fact that he is a big old softie gets overshadowed. His grief was shown, in suppressed ways, but his fascination was not. That's probably why I wanted to write this.
> 
> Here it is, soft Steve and soft Tony.  
> ft. Natasha will-protect-you-always Romanoff,  
> Clint makes-the-world-seem-better Barton,  
> Bucky stress-bakes Barnes,  
> Pepper hold-the-fort Potts and some OCs.

Steve ducked his face down trying to subtly scan the place JARVIS had guided him to, in case anything was the same. But as it turned out, Brooklyn had changed quite too much. He felt lost, in all senses. 

He didn't even know where his mother's grave was. Or if it was gone. The place where Steve had sat for hours whispering about things as massive as lying on his enrollment forms and as small as the time he got so frustrated because he couldn't get the right shade to her face every time he drew her.

He dreaded trying to draw his Ma, in fear that he wouldn't get her right. Wouldn't do her justice. Again. That made him feel sick, made him ache more for his Ma, who had kept him alive when people thought he wouldn't make it, than the entirety of the 40s. 

That was probably how Steve was getting suffocated in the middle of an alley hashing over how he had remained under some thick layers of ice, cold as he had ever been, as the world had moved on decades without him.  _ Capsicle, was it? _ He didn't know if he had a place, Captain America sure did. 

"Should've known that you being stealthy is almost impossible.", Natasha walked past him literally popping out of nowhere. Steve scowled in frustration and followed her without another word. 

Natasha was like a harsh slap of wind but sometimes she felt like smooth comfort. Like she can be hostile but would be the last person standing before she would let anyone hurt you. And Steve wondered what it would feel like to get that kind of faith back. 

They rounded another corner when she suddenly came to a stop, tilting her head towards him. "I know it's hard to believe anyone. It would be dumb of me to ask you to trust me but I still will, okay?"

Steve knew he didn't trust anyone. Not yet or maybe any time soon. But he hoped he could try, hoped that when he gave a shrug to Natasha, she would understand what he meant. 

She held his gaze a little longer before he got that little quirk of the corner of her lips. Validation, perhaps. He kinda wished it was not for some report because he could feel she was genuine. 

They turned their attention back to their destination which was apparently a quaint little diner named  _ 'Sylvia's' _ which felt homey at one glance and disconnected from the hustle of New York at second. 

What was somehow not strange was them using the backdoors to get in. What was also not strange was seeing Clint already perched in a corner grinning and Tony smiling warmly at some woman who gave a surprised laugh, replying back quickly in another language which seemed Italian. By the looks of it, Tony's charms were blindingly on.  _ When are they not, it's like he was born with it.  _

The woman quickly walked away humming to herself. Steve let his eyes run over the interiors, it felt good being there. The walls were the lightest of yellows like his home when he was a kid, calming to the eyes and suddenly he wanted to see how they would look under the sun when the blinds opposite to it was opened. 

Steve stole a glance at his teammates who were apparently catching up on some things in coded words that he was tired enough to not care about. He, however, walked upto the blinds, slightly opening them. What he did not expect was for them to snap and move out of the way completely as light flooded the room. 

He marveled at the walls, probably gawking since he could now see the little faded colourful drawings in the corner. This felt like him, like him in the 20s hanging off the table and drawing on the walls in that cold apartment he lived in with his Ma. 

The snickering behind him caught his attention and blood rushed to his face as he realised what he was doing; staring dreamily at a wall. It was weird to people. To see the Captain so focused in a battle but outside of war, him being so fascinated by things that he could barely resist.

Steve turned to look at the other residents of the room when he realised the woman from before was also an active part of the group snickering. It didn't feel hurtful or shameful as if they were laughing over him, it felt like he was in on the joke. Fond, if he dared. 

Tony stepped towards the lady, winding an arm around her shoulders and then pointed at Steve, "That is Steve. The one I told you about." Steve flushed more and it was evident since Tony's smirk grew. "That is Clint. The one that Agent Widow was talking you into giving him some of your cannolis." Clint straightened up, waving at her.

Natasha just tsked at Tony chiming in, "I was just using his name. I was gonna keep it all for myself." Which was provoking enough for Clint to give a fake wounded gasp, "I can see where your faith lies." 

Natasha, scary as she ever was, fixed him with another look, "Let's see where your faith lies after you get your hands on one of those." It seemed like Clint was used to it, he seemed unfazed by the intensity of her glare.  _ Sometimes _ . 

"Enough, children. Now move, don't scare him away. I've been wanting to see new people. I'm tired of watching just your faces.", the woman pushed Tony aside, easing herself in front of Steve. 

Steve just smiled awkwardly as she grabbed him by his elbow and started dragging him to somewhere. He looked back in confusion at the trio trailing behind them, still trying to mask their amusement. 

She pushed him in a seat and gave him a warm smile, "I'm Nora. Sit tight while I bring you something" Tony's  _ 'Just say Eleanora.'  _ didn't go unnoticed. She smacked him while he sat in the space opposite to Steve, "Only Mama and you call me that, who knows why. Not everyone is childish like you, Anthony." 

Tony stage-whispered a  _ 'I'm telling Mama Syl.' _ and yelped as Clint pushed him in sliding beside him as Natasha did the same to Steve. 

"Thank you, ma'am.", Steve smiled at her. Nora probably melted before she nodded, walking away.

Just as she was gone, the air tightened up. He could feel the tension between everyone. It was as if she was a tether for them to be fixated upon rather than the fact that they barely know each other. They trust each other to have their backs but not enough to let them in on their lives. 

"So..", Clint tried. "What's happening?"

"Where's Dr. Banner?", Steve jumped straight in.

"He's safe.", Natasha flicked her wrist. Tony sighed, "He's tucked in somewhere safe where no one can find him unless he wants to be found or unless we call him back. Nat or me."

"Since when are we all on first name basis?", Clint asked, his face scrunched up in confusion, clearly not expecting it. 

Tony snapped, "I've known Natasha since the Vanko debacle. If you like I can call you Barton or call him Captain." Steve gulped, "Steve is fine-" just as Clint interrupted with, "You look bad. What? We're on first name basis. I can atleast tell you that." when he looked at the incredulous look on Tony's face.

Tony did look like he was going to drop down. As if he hadn't slept all week since the battle went down, he looked drained and pale. Haunted, if the experience with the nuke was even the go-to topic of discussion on table today.

Natasha slapped her hand on the table in anger, "We are here because there are things you need to know. Things we have been going through for weeks even before you all even met. He is losing his sleep, obviously but that's because he's making sure we aren't getting killed anytime soon."

Tony's body relaxed at the slightest. He slipped out a tablet, laying it in the middle of the table. Tapping it fast, the blue light,  _ holograms,  _ emerged from it which he expanded with his fingers toying around until he got what he wanted. 

Steve's eyes skimmed over the data being displayed in front of him when he heard Clint in shock, "So you're telling me that the sceptre is here instead of Asgard." 

Steve's head snapped back to the tensed faces as he sensed something wrong, "It can't be a mistake. This is too big to be a mistake." 

Natasha tapped on something else, "We're also telling you that the nuke launched was not authorized by the Director obviously. It was sanctioned by WSC. Launched against permit. The pilot has disappeared. There's no consequential punishment, not even information about him on the servers. He was probably planted before or wiped out later. This is careful strategical usage of the Chitauri attack and some disgusting power-play at higher positions."

Steve heavily released the breath he didn't realise he was holding in. He turned to Tony, "You gave me that phone. In the past week, SHIELD agents visited me again and again searching for something. What was that?"

Tony's eyebrow scrunched up, "That means it is working. To them, right now you're in your room. I was just creating a disturbance in their surveillance hidden in your room. The things you read are distorted to camera, the audio gets switched off, the video glitches. To them, it will seem like it's a device malfunction. And they can't change the cameras while you are there." 

Steve's heart thudded knowing he was being watched, even if they didn't get it right. It thudded harder knowing that Tony has been doing things for him even though they hadn't exactly been on good terms back then.

He bit the inside of his cheek as he fished the phone out of his pocket twirling it in his hands, grateful for it. He looked at Tony muttering a muffled  _ 'thanks'.  _

Tony lost all of the tension in his body as he leaned against the table with a sweet smile. It was as if he had come here expecting the worst. Steve felt a pang of guilt go through him realising that he had caused it.

"Do we know where the sceptre is?", Clint's voice broke through. "Officially we do, actually we're not sure.", Tony replied. "I did try tracing energy signatures based on the tesseract's signatures. But they're quite different and I've never had my hands on either the sceptre or any information about it, unlike the tesseract."

"We can hold that one for a bit longer. We can't do anything. We can't ask for confirmation because they'd be alerted we're onto them. We can't ask Thor, we have no way to contact him.", Steve reached forward to spin the hologram.

"This is not just the only one you planted on the bridge, is it?", Steve asked Tony rhetorically to which Tony shrugged replying, "Natasha been planting all of those for me for months."

Clint gawked at Natasha, seemingly aware that he had been kept out of loop but quickly a deprecating grin slipped back on his face, "It's good that I didn't know all of this while Loki was mind-fucking me. Could've slipped out in front of someone wrong."

Natasha shook her head sharply, "I wasn't going to tell anyone. This all is Tony. I just wanted to get you all out of SHIELD custody. He offered the Tower and I convinced Fury in subtle hints."

Tony switched the holograms off and moved the tablet to a corner, "We're gonna be called for a debrief in some days where he'll probably suggest it. I won't agree. Initially."

Clint caught on turning towards him, "Neither will we. Initially."

Tony grinned at him, "You're smart for a birdbrain."

But Clint just said, "There's something you're not telling. That ties this all together. And I kinda have gathered what it is. Infiltration and on those lines."

The grin slipped out of Tony's face as he closed his eyes. Natasha looked at Steve, "This is hard but you need to think before you react. There are repercussions for every fucking step."

At that exact same moment, Tony stared hard at him straight in the eye, "HYDRA never died. It still lives in SHIELD. Through SHIELD. Probably higher than that too."

Steve sat still absorbing everything, connecting everything, feeling it all bubble up painfully. "How do you know that?", he asked sternly.

"I can't tell you that.", Tony replied back. "Not yet."

"For all I know, maybe I can't trust anyone. Or you, if you can't tell me everything. What if everybody is lying to me? Why-", Steve felt weird amidst that pain and hollowness. Cold and distant. As if he was in the ice again. Like every inch of him was slowly freezing and he couldn't move. 

A warm hand rested on his hair as a sweet smell surrounded him. "You should come here again. I could only get these right now. My Mama bakes these the best though. You should also try her apple pie, Anthony did tell me that you'd like it.", Nora's voice grounded him.

Her hand continued brushing his hair as he slumped back in his seat listening to her, "I'll pack some of these for you. Don't even tell them that you'll share it or you'll never get any of it. I still don't know why you kids decided it's okay to come at this hour. Don't you have sleep or something. It's good I wake up early to prepare for the day or you'd be wandering streets hungry without me."

She handed him something to eat which he blindly followed through, eating slowly despite the knot in his throat because it felt wrong disobeying her. It felt good. Too good. It was like blinking back into existence. He looked up at her, probably with glassy eyes because the way she smiled reminded him too much of his own Ma. He's been thinking about her too much lately.

He felt the warmth of it all wrap around him like a blanket. "That's it.", she tapped his head twice. Steve smiled at her, feeling gratefulness for getting this. She urged him to take a bite again, he then realised this was the cannoli Tony and Natasha were fighting over.

He turned towards them to see them all looking away. Nat and Clint were looking at Tony who had rested his head on the table sleepily playing with the phone Steve had kept on the table before. He felt another rush of affection at that man. 

Tony softly spoke, "She's not my go-to culinary therapist for nothing, Steve." And Steve understood what he meant, looking back at her and silently thanking her because he couldn't trust himself to speak just yet. She obviously understood as she brushed his hair back one more time before she headed back in again. 

"It's as if she has a sixth sense for anything going wrong besides her. That's why we're meeting here at this time when we could have her without disturbing her schedule.", Tony raised his head handing the phone back to Steve. 

But when Steve opened his palm to get it back, he instead found Tony's hand holding his. It felt small and calloused and cold but it felt so good, felt like calming away a touch-starved part of himself. "I know it's hard knowing that the thing you gave your life away for is still there doing more damage than ever. You feel wasted as if it was all for nothing. I can't assure you anything, Steve, that's for you to figure out. What I can offer is us. Me and Nat and everyone. We may not fill the space your people have left behind in your life, we don't intend to. All we can do is make this century worth it for you, be some of your people, Captain." 

And if that day, Steve fell a little for that man in front of him, it wouldn't be his fault. He nodded back closing his hand, encasing Tony's. "I can share these. I was born in the Depression.", he pointed towards the cannolis.

"You can't joke about it this fast.", Tony grinned back at him, slipping his hand out again out of Steve's as all three of them broke down on the cannolis. 

Natasha bumped his shoulder, "You committed your first biggest mistake in this century, Steve." as she munched on hers, blinking back innocently at him. It seemed so real that it provoked a laugh out of him.

Tony's hand nudged his again, "There are some more things that you need to know. Hiding them from you anymore won't do you any good. Do you think you can take it?"

Steve breathed out harshly and asked, "I'd rather know it all now. Would all of you be there?"

To no one's surprise, Clint was the first to butt in, cackling, "Duh. Now we're gonna follow you around like puppies until you get tired of us." 

Steve grinned at all of them, "Would you all bring me back here for that apple pie?"

Tony jumped a bit in his place, "I have some back at the Tower. I took it back for Pepper and her man. Turns out pregnant humans can hate normal things. If it were me, they'd make me eat it."

Natasha climbed out of her place, "We're going to the Tower. I need to check out where I'll be living." to which Tony scoffed sliding back out after Clint.

Steve didn't know why he felt this happy. Yes, he felt an undercurrent of manic sadness under his skin waiting for him to tip over the edge. But gaining these new friends, it felt good. They walked back out saying goodbyes to Nora and filling up in the car similar to the way they had done before. This felt different, so much different. This time Tony was hissing on Clint over some music while the man driving, Happy if Tony's whines were any indication, just let Nat choose.  _ If he also felt relieved at the fact Ms. Potts was not Tony's dame, that was just a bonus.  _

•••

Tony tried suppressing his fear that they'd lose Steve the second they let him go. He had planned for this. For the strong, determined Captain to meet his friend Bucky. He hadn't considered that he'd have to do it to soft, fragile Steve who gave the  _ 'aw shucks'  _ smiles and  _ 'thank you, ma'am' _ s. He hated that he let Steve put his faith in them when he was just taking him to the Tower to make him face worse.

Bucky knew they were meeting sometime today, he didn't know when. Tony didn't tell him because he was afraid that Bucky would back away again drowning in his guilt. Now that felt like a mistake. He should have warned him. 

He slipped his phone out of his pocket, texting a  _ 'stay with him, make sure he's okay.'  _ to Pepper. He got a message back quickly from her. It was an image attachment of him leaning over a new batch of muffins he had apparently stress-baked with his coffee mug in his other hand. The hair that had escaped his bun were framing his face. 

Tony sighed in relief. At-the-very-least, Bucky was okay. He texted back,  _ 'don't eat the apple pie in the fridge.'  _ Just seconds later, he got her message back,  _ 'I still can't handle the smell.'  _ Tony switched off his phone, figuring they'd have a lot of time to talk later as he turned towards others.

Natasha's gaze was fixed straight on him. She knew he was going through that inner turmoil. They had done this before. Weeks before New York. Again and again. But everytime, Bucky would completely lose himself. 

Clint was still blabbing to Steve about anything that came to his mind. They had roughly covered good restaurants in New York, Dog Cops, Lucky Charms being the best cereal and the perils of autocorrect. It was as if there was a switch to this man. All the silent eyeing and analysis and tight steps had flipped and he had turned into an absolute child who spoke his mind freely.

Steve was no less. He was apparently listening to Clint, hanging onto every word and humming after some. His head was resting on the back of the seat in front of him. He looked peaceful,  _ angelic even. _ Tony wanted to wrap him up and safely tuck him safe and take away all this pain. 

Getting out of the car, Clint and Natasha were out first, as always, as if to scout the place. He ended up with Steve walking next to him to the elevator. "How'd you find it? Sylvia's?", Steve asked carefully not looking at him.

"I didn't.", Tony replied, which was enough for Steve's eyes to come back to his face. He could see that Steve wanted to ask something but was hesitant so Tony eased it, "I'll tell you before the day ends."

Tony gave a soft smile to Steve and got a shy smile in return as they walked into the elevator. He felt grateful that Jarvis didn't greet them as usual, sensing need for normalcy. Clint asking Natasha about the vents surely didn't go unnoticed. He pressed for the common floor and Natasha pressed for the one below that. 

He knew she had no business roaming on an empty floor, she was stalling. She was going to let Steve decide whether he wanted company or not if he blows when he sees Bucky. She and Clint walked out on that floor, but she tapped the solid surface of the phone in Tony's pocket before moving out, clearly asking him to call her when it's okay.

He nodded just as the doors closed. He turned towards Steve as he considered the last moments to back out of this. All of which vanished when he saw Steve already looking at him deep in thought. It was as if he had spaced out and Tony just happened to be in his line of vision.

"You okay?", Tony asked worriedly. Steve let his eyes shut, "Yeah. It's just hard to take all that information." Tony knew better than to play it down and say  _ 'it's okay'.  _

So he just poked at Steve like an annoying child and tried to drag him to the common floor when the elevator doors opened, which was probably not a bad reaction since Steve was looking down at him in amusement.

It was enough to take Steve's mind off of it for some time as his gaze roamed around the floor resting on a red-head watching them from what apparently was a kitchen. 

"Pep?", Tony called out as she walked towards them with a genuine smile on her face. "Hey.", she said to Steve just as she reached them perching next to Tony. 

It was as if Tony softened after seeing her, shrugging his loose arms. He looked at Steve with that relaxed smile, "This is Ms. Pepper Potts. She basically keeps me alive."

Steve struck out a hand towards her nervously, "It's nice to finally to meet you, ma'am." Ms. Potts gazed at him as if she had been expecting this, smiling warmly before shaking his hand. She felt dainty and strong and her presence felt calming instead of intimidating, "Please call me Pepper. We're all almost-roommates." 

Steve grinned back at her, taking his hand back, tucking it in his pocket and rocking in his place as she walked over to the couch and dropped down in a bounce. "You okay?", Tony asked Pepper, still staying rooted besides Steve. 

"I'm just tired.", she flicked her hand hoping to diffuse the situation. It was then Steve remembered that Tony had said something about her being pregnant. He wondered if he would be here long enough to see the baby. He still didn't know anything about the said  _ 'Pepper's man' _ . 

It was then when they heard footsteps, intentional as if they were not used to announcing their presence when they walked in a place. Steve turned back to look at the source and stilled as his heart lurched. 

•••

Tony was beside Steve when he had stiffened for a few seconds, staring glassily at Bucky standing at the kitchen door. Bucky knew better than to come barging in, even if he wanted to hug his lost best friend since forever. 

Tony inched towards Steve, keeping in mind that it was not a good idea to touch a super-soldier in shock but it felt wrong not to. So he let his hand rest on Steve's arm which meant that he was there to catch Steve when he stumbled back with pain laced on his face. 

His vacant eyes softly gazed into Tony's, "What is that? Projection? Robots to trick me? What is that? I trusted you, tell me." He held Tony's arm back tighter as if he wasn't sure that he was awake. Tony could feel the weight of Steve's word in his chest.

But before Tony could say anything, Bucky had taken a step forward. "Steve?", he asked in a shaky voice. Tony saw Steve jerk but he also saw Pepper twitch. He knew it felt wrong to her to let Bucky go through this alone, he knew she wanted to rush to him the second he came in here. 

"No!", Steve's shout broke through Tony's thought as Steve slid down to sit on the couch taking Tony down with him as he wouldn't loosen his grip on Tony's hand. "Shut up! Shut up! Don't come close.", he continued shouting with uncertainty. 

"It's Bucky, I promise I'm not lying.", Tony whispered to Steve, blocking his view of Bucky to get all of Steve's attention on himself. "It's him", Tony repeated as Steve refused to meet his eye. This felt a lot worse than what they saw at Sylvia's. 

"I saw him fall.", Steve said with conviction, anger clouding his face as he looked at Tony. "I let him die. I grieved him so much, goddamnit. He was my only family left and I let him die just because I wasn't fast enough. That is not Bucky. He died. I gave up on him. That can't be Bucky. You have to know that." Steve trembled with that manic sadness. 

Tony heard a thud and he could see Pepper running towards Bucky from the corner of his eye. He wanted to turn back to see if they were both okay. He knew he couldn't. He couldn't lose this one chance. 

So he bent down shaking Steve, "C'mon. I'll get you out of here. You want to go to the kitchen or your room here?" Steve tilted his head peeking behind Tony as a single tear escaped his eye whispering, "Kitchen is fine."

He tugged on Steve's hand and supported the clumsy super-soldier as much as he could. Finally turning towards the kitchen, he saw Bucky sitting on the floor in the middle of the room with his legs folded up to his chest and his face hidden in Pepper's neck who was holding him upright in her arms. 

He wished he could console him like the times Bucky had done for Tony. He instead pulled Steve with him to the kitchen knowing he was doing this for Bucky. 

When they reached the kitchen, Steve left Tony's hand and backed away to a corner sliding down and tucking himself small in a similar way to Bucky. His face was hidden as he rested it on his knees. Tony filled a glass with water and left it on the countertop. 

He backed away to the corner farthest from Steve and slid down, sprawling on the floor and resting his head behind. He felt more tired than ever. 

What broke Tony was hearing the muffled sobs from across the kitchen. The courageous Captain, Howard had spoken as if Steve was made of vibranium instead of his shield, as if he was a paragon of all-things-unbreakable and not as human as the one who was sitting across Tony trying to cover his mouth with his hands as his face was red and wet with tears. 

He felt dead seeing this kind of grief. He wondered how it would feel to lose Rhodey because of something he failed at and get him back about half a century later, but twisted in fate. He didn't know if he could handle it. At least Howard wasn't lying about the  _ 'strong Captain' _ part. 

"Do you want me to leave?", Tony asked timidly. It took many laboured breaths for those pained blue eyes to look at him as Steve shook his head no.

"Do you want water?", Tony asked again as it was seemingly working. Steve nodded back in reply. 

"Is it okay for me to come near you or do you want me to call Natasha?", Tony kept up the conversation. Steve sniffled and replied in a small voice, "Want you." 

"Okay.", Tony whispered as he got up, picking up the glass filled with water and slid down next to Steve. Steve took his time before trying to take the glass from him but Tony didn't let go. 

He was afraid if Steve's shivering hand lost grip of the glass, the shattering glass would just worsen the condition of both the supersoldiers. So instead he let Steve wrap his shaky fingers over his own on the glass as he tilted it towards Steve's mouth urging him to drink. 

Steve kept coughing and hiccuping and breathing too hard or slow while drinking it, but he didn't stop. He kept drinking it in small sips until his sobs became too much and Tony pulled away hoping he didn't choke on his breath. He tapped out a message to Natasha asking for help and hoped JARVIS would hopefully tell her the situation.

Steve had scrunched his eyes shut resting his head on the cabinet behind with a thud, his face still contorted and wet. Tony couldn't hold it together if his eyes burned anymore, he hoped Natasha would come sooner. 

He traced the wet patch the tears had made on Steve's knee again and again, maddeningly slow until he couldn't hear the whimpers anymore. He looked up towards the grieving man to find him completely still and silent looking at Tony's finger tracing the wetness. Steve wasn't crying or showing any emotion, he was as blank as the day they'd first met and Tony wished he hadn't lost the only trust Steve had put in him. 

"I really don't know what to do.", Tony said, sighing. He could hear the clacks of heels and he knew it'd be some mere seconds for Natasha to get there. He felt grateful for everyone using their heavy steps inspite of being trained enough to slip in anywhere without notice. It was such a small but significant detail that it made him itch in his heart.

"Me too", Steve's whisper surprised him as both their heads snapped back to see Natasha entering the kitchen. "How do you feel about coffee now?", Natasha didn't stop to look at them, instead walking straight to the coffee machine. Tony fake-sighed, "You don't wanna know." He did however look back at Steve who shook his head and nudged Tony's still finger to continue tracing. 

Tony resumed the motion, "What do you want to do?" Steve's eyes rose to his, in confusion. Steve tilted his head towards the door. "You wanna meet him?", Tony asked cautiously and Steve nodded slowly. 

"We can take our time.", Natasha said before anything could proceed. "You wanna check on them, Tony?", she clearly meant for him to take a break before they went out. But before he could move, Steve gripped his moving finger and Tony sensed his hesitation. He probably didn't want to subject Natasha to another breakdown and rather have Tony who witnessed first.  _ Or maybe, Tony was really doing this right and his presence was comforting to Steve. _

"I'll just peep at them and grab my coffee. I'm coming back.", Tony negotiated as Natasha dropped beside him instead holding Steve's hand open and digging her nails in lightly.

Tony swiftly got up, almost running towards the living room. Pepper was sitting on the couch with Bucky fast asleep in her lap. She had tugged open his bun and was braiding it in small braids, deep in thought. 

Tony's footsteps alerted her but she relaxed seeing it was him, Bucky however sat back alert. Tony's feet carried him directly to Bucky as he felt the undying need to hug him which was quelled soon since Bucky tugged him down in their pile. 

"I'm so tired.", Tony whispered to both of them. "He's so tired.", he continued. "He still wants to meet Bucky. I told him I'm coming back soon but I'm afraid if I make one minor mistake, I might mess this up for so many people, decades of friendship. It's tiring to live with such responsibility even though I wish I could take all of his and your problems away. I wish he would let this go for another day. No one is that strong."

Bucky sighed knowingly as he brushed back Tony's hair, "That's Steve. He's bull-headed. I'm surprised he is letting any of you see him that way, he didn't let people see him weak. But then again, he's been alone for so long."

Tony hummed and tried getting up when Bucky held him back, "Tony, it's not necessary for you to do everything. This SHIELD thing has already been draining you. Don't think we don't know about the wormhole nightmares. And this? You keep saying you wish you could take everyone's problems away but don't you ever think that we wished that for you too."

Tony's head kept spinning over it all when he tugged back his arm, getting up. "There'll be a lot of time to rest when this ends. I need to get back to Steve. You're meeting him. ETA 2 minutes."

He walked towards the kitchen but he didn't miss Bucky's words, "Does it ever end though?" He threw back a painful smile and walked back into the kitchen to see Steve standing with Natasha next to the coffee machine, looking weirdly at the tons of muffins kept there.

"He stress-bakes.", Tony said as he walked to them. Steve pondered over his words, "Bucky doesn't know how to cook." Tony gave a surprised laugh, "Oh! He still doesn't. He does know how to bake excellent muffins. Eleanora used culinary therapy on Bucky when we were at our low. He got something to focus on. I got muffins to eat."

"You're close to him. Ms. Potts is, too. How?", Steve asked and Tony's mouth screwed shut. He turned towards Natasha for help though which she did by quickly taking over, "That's for later. You can meet him today, sure. But I don't think talking about it all today would do you both any good. Everybody is tired. We might as well talk about this when we move here."

Steve just shook his head, "I just want to know it's him. If it's not, well I tried. If it's him, I wouldn't want to miss a chance of getting him back."

Tony smiled softly at him when their eyes met. "C'mon.", he said as he led them back to the living room where Bucky was talking to Pepper in low tones. 

Pepper was the first one to see them and she quietly got up walking towards Natasha. Steve, however, took tentative steps towards Bucky before taking a deep breath and reaching out.

"Hey, Stevie.", was all Bucky got to say before he was tugged into Steve's arms who kept mumbling things, probably wetly.

It felt great to be there, even witnessing them meeting back again after this much pain. 

Not many people had witnessed Steve Rogers grieving Bucky Barnes. But Tony felt more than happy to witness Steve Rogers getting Bucky Barnes back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eleanora is an original character. She's not a Marvel character or based off any other.
> 
> She's just an old woman who lets her Mama plot with sarcastic genius billionaires to poke fun at herself, helps recovering assassins by pulling them to the kitchen, makes celestial cannolis and reminds Steve of his Ma. Just a wholesome angel here to make lives better.


	3. Life through texting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one big mess of fluff from all ends. Seriously though. I needed a 'Steve getting to a point where he tests life through texting' and 'Bucky being all melted cheese over Pepper' so I wrote it.

"Fury, look I know you aren't known for making good decisions but this is bordering on disastrous.", Tony smiled cheekily at Fury, batting his lashes in an annoying way as he rocked back into his chair completely unfazed by the man's murderous glare. 

The debrief, which they were hoping would happen soon, took place about a week after their  _ day-out  _ at Sylvia's. Steve had been teetering to run back to the Tower as he had stayed locked up in the safehouse taking complete advantage of the luxury of texting under the pretext of 'guidance needed to navigate through new times'.

The entire team was subjected to being Steve's test drive through essential technological knowledge which Steve had mastered shamefully fast, they still reserved it under serving America. Surprisingly, Bruce was Steve's favourite to text. 

How Pepper butted Bucky and herself into making another group chat along with everyone was not an answer mankind was ready to know. The weirdest part for Steve was texting Bucky because this wasn't how he ever imagined speaking with his best friend and also because texting someone who you feel like you don't know anymore seemed a lot more tough. 

About a week later, Steve was painfully aware of as much information possibly known about HYDRA and Natasha was in active pursuit of the people on the other end of the cameras hidden in the said-safehouse. 

Clint, on the other hand, had disappeared off the face of the Earth and returned back days later, refusing to divulge more information about his disappearance. Tony was  _ not  _ curious but still he couldn't stop prodding Clint about missing the 'smiley face' phase of Steve's texting timeline. 

This was probably the fastest and unimaginable way that any one of them had ever imagined to get friends. Nobody was complaining though. Tony just hoped everyone would be comfortable enough at this point so he won't have to sit through awkward introductions anymore or he'll just hide in his workshop drinking DUM-E's poisoned smoothies until Rhodey came to save him. 

But the highlight of the texting was probably the coordination they had gained by now. Which was how he knew exactly how hard it was for them to control themselves while he twirled Fury in pirouettes around the topic of letting the Avengers in his home, _which was a joke since he could bet half of Nat's murder stilettos were already in her wardrobe_ _and Clint had laid some nests in the vents._

He smiled sweetly as he could almost see the smoke coming out of the Director's nostrils and he wondered if he should stop pestering this man. This much resistance against Fury's  _ proposal  _ of housing the Avengers kinda seemed enough. Any other argument or demand rising in his head felt redundant, so he slapped his hands on the desk, "Okay. I'll adopt them."

Natasha's completely blank face stayed blank and Clint had long rested his head down on the table hiding it in his folded arms. The Captain, however, huffed getting up and walked to the other side of the room, looking out of the window.

Fury nabbed the chance before Tony could drag it more, "Good. It's decided. You all can shift into the tower as per Stark. Now get out of here." He swiftly turned to walk out of the debriefing room as Tony chimed in again, "Don't make me reconsider it, Nicky."

Fury just flipped him the bird as he banged the door on his way out. Clint raised his head a snap second later glaring at Tony, "I was this close to losing my shit." He pinched his fingers close in ultimate exaggeration. "I almost giggled out loud.", Clint exclaimed, banging his head back on the table.

Steve turned back to face them with a grin, "I figured it'd be disrespectful to laugh at his fuming face. I'm still trying to understand how cosmic cows ended up in an argument about us moving in with Tony."

Natasha finally broke in with a smug smile, "That's one of his speciality. Tony can spin you like a spinning rim." She rested her _murder-clad_ _stilettos_ on the conference table ignoring Steve's tsks as he wandered over and nudged Natasha's feet away from his shield. 

Tony smirked back at her, "I clearly remember buying you spy time back when I spinned those double-dealing officers about the difference between MRI and PET scans. Love me more." He leaned forward, not noticing Steve eyeing him but unfortunately Natasha and Clint did. 

Natasha smiled proudly, "Oh, I do but don't flatter yourself." About a second later, Steve blurted out with his confused face on, "You might actually have to tell me the difference between MRI and PET scans. Or what they are?"  _ And god, if Tony would snatch that opportunity in greed, it'd be a turn-Steve-red fest.  _

Tony got up as he brushed the imaginary dust off of his suit while he raised his eyebrows at Steve, "Now that you're staying with us. All we're gonna do is talk your ears off. It may range from PET scans to Mary Poppins."

Steve perked up, preening, "I know Mary Poppins." Natasha tilted her head and shook it in fondness before getting up and looping her arms in Steve's muscled arms, "We need to get our things back from that safehouse. I don't think I'm going to step a foot in there again after this."

Clint finally broke his silence while he got up, walking towards the door, "What kind of safehouse is that? It's a disgrace. The amount of effort I've put while sneaking inside was disgustingly less."

Natasha did her smile-thing at him and straightened, "Okay, children. Act cold. Walk out like you don't want to hunt down the dipshits." as she walked out firmly leading them out to the jets. Tony waved at them, reassuring them that he won't delete any more footage other than the meeting _ , which they all knew was bullshit, _ and walked the other way to get his suit.

Walking on the helicarrier while watching it swim above the clouds was the only experience here that Steve treasured. The jets were lined up looking undisturbed except for some agents still hustling around the jets that Clint pointed out was just discreet surveillance.

Clint complained about the lack of efficiency in these agents spying on them after which Natasha gladly pointed out that they weren't doing too shabby, it was just Clint using his Hawk-ass-eyes. Steve did request her to keep her grace on by keeping these  _ 'little notes of this new era' _ alive. 

Clint childishly tapped the insides of the jet while walking in, "I highly suspect that a better quarter of the agents boarding this helicarrier are those assholes. Sitwell can't be any more shadier." Natasha nodded in agreement knowing not to counter this as Steve sighed loudly. 

They spent a good time flipping on and managing about millions of things while Steve wondered how much time it'll take for him to learn that. The last time he flew a plane, the landing wasn't exactly what was considered ideal while making a plane. He settled on manipulating Clint into teaching him and arrested the thoughts away in the back of his head. 

The whirring sound of the repulsors caught their attention as Iron Man flew overhead. There was another PA system override before Tony's voice filled the jet while everyone was busy strapping in, "I'd play Shoot To Thrill again but I wanted to warn you about someone who's playing around in your rooms in that safehouse. Do they think we are this ignorant because their secrecy is shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go give them a scare while y'all follow. Okay?"

Natasha smirked while looking back at Steve, "Hold on tight, Cap." just as Clint responded to Tony, "Copy that, Iron Man. Go do some fishing." The Iron Man armour flew higher with the jet trailing close behind. There was a sound before Tony took a hard dive downwards, a blaze of white left behind in his descent as he tore through air towards the ground. He took a graceful curve before he turned towards the other part of the city, towards the safehouse, and zooming away. 

The jet, however, took it's time gaining altitude and manuevering itself to some angles before there was a pressured dip as they speeded towards the way Tony had gone so fast that Steve's blood probably rushed to his head. The thrill was buzzing through Steve as he wondered if this is what it felt like every time. And then as his brain came online, Nat's  _ 'hold on tight, cap'  _ made more sense. 

The second they landed on the ground in front of the safehouse, they couldn't see the Iron Man suit anywhere near the house. The door was thrown open, the hinges cut precisely with laser which may have been a silent work on Tony's side. He already had stealth like a feline out of his armour when necessary and he probably gained undue time over the other dumb person snooping around in their place.

Tony was in the living room, kneeling beside the person he had tied up dangerously close to the fireplace. The man seemingly had passed out. The holographic display, that Natasha had strided towards the second she came in, was out of his sight under precautionary basis but close enough for them to match the faces on that screen with the limp body on the floor.

Natasha bent down to inspect him and Clint whistled at Tony, rounding the house to check if anything felt amiss or wrong, "That's a fine job. Did Barnes teach you that?"

Steve's head snapped towards Clint, "How do you know what his job looks like? You all said that you never met him before New York." Clint shrugged as if to show that he just guessed but Steve didn't believe him for a single second. He was tired of them tiptoeing around the topic of Bucky being HYDRA's puppet. He needed them to stop treating him like he couldn't handle it. 

Natasha seemed to sense the storm filling in Steve's brain as she eased his doubts, "I wasn't completely truthful. I've gone hand on hand with the Winter Soldier and I've taken a shot straight through me as he killed an engineer I was protecting. I needed to tell Clint about the fighting patterns for him to help me find the Winter Soldier. The scar is still there. Bye bye bikinis."

Steve felt a weird pulse go through him. Tony pivoted in his spot and tapped Steve's biceps while walking past him towards the window, closing them, "The day Clint returned from his trip to Nowheresville, he was snooping around in the tower. He probably saw Bucky throwing me a thousand times on the mat." 

Clint held the intruder up as he inspected the place to clean up, "You weren't supposed to know I was there. I was checking if the tower was as easy to get in as this safehouse. I can successfully say I only got in because JARVIS recognised me and promised me not to tell you. What gave?" He kicked the red carpet checking for stains while sending a dart through the hidden camera over the fireplace, muttering  _ 'dumbfucks'. _

And when Steve looked at Tony questioningly for follow up, Tony traced the concentric circles of Steve's shield, "I knew he was in the vents because the second he stepped into that tower a week ago, he asked Natasha about the vents. Natasha has taught me some things. Also I had already updated the vents with  _ 'babysitting Katniss'  _ protocol. Right, J?"

JARVIS' calm voice flooded into assure his creator, "Absolutely, sir. I did not break Agent Barton's confidence, I simply let sir know the protocol was activated."

Natasha slung her duffel bag which she had packed god-knows-when when she went up to collect it god-knows-when, "The knocking out was a punch in the right place on the head. Which is Tony modifying everything he knows into Happy's signature punch. Tell me something new." 

Tony grinned back at her as he tapped on another file before showing it to her, "There's a difference. I didn't make a mess, which again is new for me. Also Tasha, that's not the file you're looking for. You passed that."

Natasha fumbled with her device as Clint dropped in besides her with his own duffel bag.  _ God, why was everyone packed up but not Steve. When did they even fucking do it?  _

Natasha's muttering grew with alarm, "I know. Something's not adding up. That's not Josh Andrews lying there as the file says. That's Elliot. They're taking other agent's names for checking in at places."

There was silence on everyone's parts, trying to grasp the situation as Nat continued, "Still the only option we have is to hand him over to SHIELD because that's the only way I know how to dispose their agent back to them without looking suspicious as if we know anything. Tony attacking can be counted as a coincidence on my report which won't be doubted." 

Clint followed up a whisper of  _ 'because everyone thinks she doesn't want Tony in SHIELD. Obviously she doesn't but for completely other reasons.'  _

Steve's head felt heavy as he finally wandered towards his room, "I don't even wanna know how many innocent agents are gonna get caught up if this is what they're doing."

He packed his things fast which was barely half a duffel bag filled with everything. In pretext of searching for things, he also  _ accidentally _ broke many cameras there as to not leave any trace that the cameras were fine and it were Tony's devices which were disrupting the output.

Steve felt a wave of frustration and concern for the him-a-week-ago who was completely oblivious to the mess that was around him. Whose only problems in life were waking up where he knew no one. It was frightening how just a week later, he had people in his corner who not only had his back but genuinely wanted to be with him. 

He closed the door gently, walking outside towards the jet when he heard Clint whoop. He could see Clint sprint towards Tony who was leaning against a red car with no roof that still felt weird no matter how many times he saw it but looked beautiful. Natasha was trailing behind Clint and Steve chose to follow her there. 

"How'd it even get here?", he could hear Clint almost shouting. "I have my ways.", Tony smirked at him before sliding into the driver's seat.  _ And Christ, if Steve's body felt hotter than before after seeing this, it was just the weather.  _

Clint pushed Tony trying to get him to answer probably. Tony winced batted his hands away, "Stop the abuse. I got a baby agent to drive it here for me. She's going to take the jet back to the helicarrier along with the other agents who are coming to take back our human gift pack." Natasha ruffled Tony's hair, who just grumbled, smiling at him in a grateful way as she jumped in behind him and pulled in Clint with her in the backseat. 

Clint didn't mind not getting the  _ shotgun  _ if Natasha's ribbing and her knowing smirk at Steve was any indication. Steve's probably already coloured face might have darkened more as he realised Natasha had probably caught onto him dreamily gawking at the genius fiddling with the car. 

Steve slipped in besides Tony and his heart went a thud crazier at the casual lazy grin Tony threw at him. Steve instead got busy with the seatbelts hoping Tony didn't catch onto him as fast as Natasha did. 

The drive back to the tower was one of the best things Steve had felt in his life. It was fast but always careful, with laughs heard over gushing wind and fascination as they let themselves loose, this was how probably being with Tony Stark felt. 

Tony pulled up at the Tower but he dropped them all at the entrance. "We're meeting up with Bucky." was all he said before driving inside. "I thought he wasn't supposed to leave this tower.", Clint said in a confused tone just as they saw Bucky across the street. He looked like a part of the crowd, his hands in his pockets and the baseball cap covering enough. 

That was what they saw before some cars passed by and Bucky disappeared. It was like watching a ghost, as if it was never there or as if it was a figment of imagination. Tony's voice shook him out of his surprise, "You can only see Bucky if he wants you to see him. He's scary good at this, probably why HYDRA hadn't caught that he's been here right under their noses for four years."

They started walking towards the back entrance making it very obvious that the Avengers were seen entering the Stark Tower. Soon the garage doors closed and the dimmed yellow lights raised to a beautiful golden glinting off the shine of the numerous cars and a motorbike in the corner which felt vaguely familiar to Steve and another motorbike which did not look like one. 

A few steps in, Tony threw his hands around waving to the sensors, "How'd it go?" as he walked over to the non-motorbike-looking vehicle, grabbed something and threw it to Natasha. It did look like a key all the while it didn't. 

Steve stopped again in confusion before he saw Bucky leaning against the innermost car.  _ Scary good. Ghost.  _ Words suddenly made sense in his brain. He knew what Bucky had gone through to a certain extent but he hadn't ever witnessed the results in person and this was terrifying. 

Bucky shrugged, strolling towards Tony who met him halfway, "Ms. Martin says that Steve's statement is beneficial for the case. There are more chances this turns our way. His confirmation might as well be a Captain America stamp on my case." Tony let out a breath fiddling with his hands, "That's a good thing, right? Why do you look so down?"

Steve looked back at Bucky. At first glance, he seemed completely normal. But the slightly tense stance suddenly came into notice. The fact that Tony could understand that at first glance was maddening when he missed it. The one person Steve was supposed to know all through and through has been Bucky and now Steve can't even do that.

Bucky's cold voice was something Steve hadn't missed, "She also told me that your statement is one of the best parts that tips the case towards our end." The next second, it was as if the air dropped to a tenseness dangerously looming close to a shouting match. Tony went still, his jaw clenched as his eyes slipped shut, "We're not gonna talk about this."

Natasha tapped Bucky's metal arm with her keys, taking a turn and strolling in between them to diffuse that air, "What statement?" Bucky just shook his head at her and continued speaking to Tony, "You don't have to go through this, Tones. You will be dragged through court for the testimony. You'll have to live it again. Please don't make me see you that way again." His voice was reduced to frightened whispers.

It seemed as if Natasha caught onto what they were talking about because she spun around walking a step away in anger from the both of them, leaning against the car behind her as Clint nudged her shoulder in question. 

Tony's eyes snapped back open. He took a step closer to Bucky and his voice dipped into the screaming territory. "No. This is my decision. You heard the lady. I've thought about this a hundred times. Again and again. And I want to do this. You will not stop me. It's not just you on the line. It's all our lives." 

Bucky's stature crumpled faster than Steve could blink as he slumped forward towards Tony. His metal arm limp besides his body and his other arm outstretched between them as if to cling onto anyone's presence. 

Bucky shook his head and gulped, "I'm sorry. Everytime I think I can do something to lessen the load for you, it's like I can't ever-" 

Tony tugged Bucky straight out of his slump, carefully avoiding the hand showing that he won't give in to the demand but still stand for his friend. He softly interrupted, "I'm sorry that you think that this is your fault. It's not. We just happen to be collateral damage, Buck."

"You had nightmares, Tony. You didn't sleep for weeks. Let's be real, can you go through it? Because I'm damn sure they'll need that video too.", Natasha interjected sharply, taking a stand that Bucky backed down but she won't. 

Tony's weak smile simply said that he knew he wasn't going to win this, that they were all right. Yet Steve had no absolute clue what the hell was going. Steve winced, "If I ask, will anyone tell me what it is or will you make me wait like you've been doing with those files you still haven't given me, thinking I won't notice?"

Clint's grunt in agreement made Tony whisper, "Please don't make me do this." Steve could feel the shaky hollowness in Tony's voice and his brain cleared clinging onto it. He didn't really want to but he shrugged, "I'll wait." And if Tony heard the uncertainty in his tone, he showed it while glancing back at Steve in gratefulness. 

Steve felt pain course through him seeing everyone suffer this much and the fact that he couldn't possibly know what's going on without them telling him, which was hard because it was hurting them, fuelled it. Suddenly Bucky's narrow straight vision of not even noticing Steve or Natasha or Clint made sense. This also solidified his doubt that it was big enough to make Bucky go stir-crazy in guilt and not even consider anyone else other than Tony. 

Bucky smiled slightly at him as if he read Steve's mind and waved at him, "C'mon, I'm hungry." Tony barked out a laugh as the air cleared again while he punched Bucky lightly, "When are you not? I'm guessing that's the same with you." Tony looked at Steve amusedly as Steve sheepishly rolled his eyes to avoid giving another  _ 'supersoldier metabolism' _ speech that he had given through text to everyone at midnight, days ago.

JARVIS took that instant to interrupt, "Sergeant Barnes, I believe Ms.Potts needs your personal assistance on your floor." Bucky's face scrunched up, glancing back and making eye contact with Tony for a second before he broke into a half jog towards the private elevator followed by everyone. 

Steve felt clueless. Sure Bucky spent most of his time flirting with Ms. Potts in every conversation they had the past week but he didn't know they were this close.  _ Personal assistance on his floor. _

"Mind if they have some company, J?", Tony asked worriedly. JARVIS took some seconds before responding, "No, sir. I don't think it's wise to repeat what Ms. Potts replied." just as Natasha pressed for the floor below Tony's penthouse. 

"She's been a bit frustrated. She couldn't sleep properly last night.", Bucky said with a sigh. It was as if then that the light struck in Steve's head and he started connecting the dots. He looked at others to find them all looking grim and he wondered if he was yet again the only one surprised. The only one who stood there gawping like a fish in confusion.

_ Ms. Potts was Bucky's dame when Steve had thought… _ Questions about the child raised in his head, but by then the elevator doors were open and they all were rushing out on a new floor which was beautiful and was apparently his best friend's floor too. 

Bucky rushed directly towards a room knowingly and they could see Pepper sitting there in an impeccable white dress and her coat dropped besides her. They all stopped in the smaller living room of that floor deciding not to interrupt them and rather lounge on the couch. Bucky worriedly called her name as he strode in the room, "Pepper?" 

She looked at him in distress and her frown receeded to an extent, "I'm tired. I finally hired that Max guy I was telling you about to run the company under me when I'm not there. He seems genuine enough. I swear James, the amount of NDAs I've seen in the past years are enough for five more lifetimes."

Bucky thought over her words as he walked to her, kneeling down beside her and gently tugging her to lean on him, "It's okay, sweetheart. You trust him, don't you?" as Pepper nodded mutely. Bucky tangled his hand in her soft hair flowing down her back, "Then relax. If it's still concerning, Tony did say he was going to run the company first-hand through your guy. I don't think he'll let it drown."

She whined back pushing her head towards where Bucky's hand had stopped combing to resume it again. She sighed in content as he followed through, "I know. I trust him. It's just this; all of this was completely unplanned. I'm terrified. But this is still one of the best things that has happened to me all my life."

Bucky's whole demeanour changed as he melted into her, "I can one hundred percent assure you that. I am terrified of having this, knowing I'm not even an alive person in the eyes of people. I have about a thousand things weighing me down yet you are here giving me this dream of having you and our baby and this family. It feels like I'm still in a dream and I'll wake up someday."

Pepper smiled lovingly at him as she tugged at his hair, tilting his head back and giving him a gentle kiss until he broke into a smile again, "Oh you don't want to know how happy I am that I get to keep you all for myself. Once we end this last phase of the case and you get to go out without hiding yourself, you're taking me on a date." and Bucky glowed, whispering, "Just a month more."

She grinned repeating his words, "Just a month more and we're going out for a date. Not in the tower or Sylvia's, but out. And I'm going to make you discuss baby names over you buying me all the spicy food I've been wanting to eat."

Bucky chuckled deeply, "Whatever you want, doll." Pepper took a deep breath, staring deeply into Bucky's greyish blue eyes that had long since become her home and held his hand still, "I know that I was going to wait for this case thing to end, for you to come freely during the appointments but I can't do this alone."

Bucky felt a soft pain in his chest that he couldn't even do this for his own baby and this woman he loved so beyond everything. But there was another story as Pepper scrunched up her nose trying to act meek, "So I might have poked Tony to find me an OBGYN to get a discreet appointment. I can even sign one more NDA if it means I get to have you besides me."

Bucky burst out laughing before she even finished her monologue, bending his head backwards to breath through his laughs, "I love you so fucking much. Christ, you drive me crazy. Obviously, I'd love to come along. Are you even thinking, Pepper?"

"No. Shut up. I feel like drinking tea. C'mon.", Pepper moaned trying to lazily pull away which was a nice try since Bucky kept grinning through her fails, "Okay. I'll make you one." She gave up slumping into him, letting him bear both of their weight.

She rested her head on his chest, "I'll take a nap later. I'm tired." His hand kept gently massaging her stressed back as he hummed along. Her sleeping patterns were definitely messed up and Bucky felt glad that she felt tired enough to sleep. 

He huffed out a smile, "Okay. You need to go change. You can't sit here all day." She did her scary interpretation of ' _ watch me'  _ but still shook her head 'no' as she stood up, holding out her hand which he took happily, "Can't miss an opportunity to watch you burn our kitchen." He grumbled and let himself be dragged towards the mini-kitchen on their floor. 

Pepper froze as her face fell when she saw the others in various stages of human emotions in their living room. She turned back to Bucky, "Were you busy? Am I interrupting something?" As disappointed as she felt, she couldn't find the strength in herself to talk to everyone right now.

"Nope. I'm all yours. They were just worried so they decided to come check on you.", Bucky pulled her hand, wrapping a hand around her waist and pulling her towards their kitchen. Pepper smacked him on the chest and turned towards the other. She could see that Tony had relaxed knowing that she was okay but others were not. 

She gave them a lazy smile, "I'm okay. I'm just tired. I don't think I'm going to give you this man soon though. It took me whining to persuade him into making me some tea." Pepper could see everyone relaxing and a particular Captain staring at them dazedly. She chose to flee and let others handle this as she let herself be tugged in warm arms towards the kitchen.

The second they were away, Steve was the first one to whisper-yell, "Why am I the only one who figures out everything the last? Bucky is with Pepper, I mean-" 

He didn't know how Bucky heard it,  _ probably super-soldier perks, _ but Steve could bet money that Bucky coloured up and peeked a look at them before he pecked Pepper's forehead in defiance and continued doing whatever it was he was doing.

"I'm so used to this, I don't even know if I should be embarrassed or not.", Tony sighed in happiness completely ignoring Steve's truck full of questions. 

Steve's duffel bag fell down from his hand as his mouth fell open, "Bucky is going to be a father?" He could feel his breath catch in a little wistfulness and blinding happiness. Natasha nodded at him. 

"Are you serious?", Steve didn't know what was even happening in his life. He literally got his brother back just days ago and a kid? He was going mad almost catching up to everything happening. 

He had imagined Bucky having a family, having a partner and some kids who'd call him  _ 'uncle'  _ but god, that felt like lifetimes ago. He had let all those dreams of having his own family and being a part of Bucky's family take a corner so many years ago. 

This still shook him to the core. He wanted to cry for missing out his brother stumbling all over himself falling in love with someone. He felt angry at losing the chance to see that happiness when Bucky found out he was going to be a father. 

But he also felt happy like a cloud because he knew the terrible things that had happened to Bucky and here he was happy with Pepper despite everything. Very much so. Anybody could see it. Steve felt so content knowing that Bucky had a family and he might get to be a part of it, that a laugh left his lips. 

Tony looked at him in alarm but soon realised what was happening. The lazy grin slipped back on his face as he stared at Steve in adoration. Steve kept laughing in small bouts until the grin didn't let him anymore, "I'm gonna be an uncle. I'm gonna have a family."

The words hit everyone in the right places as the realisation overwhelmed them. Nobody had thought about it this way. All except Tony who had known since day one that he'd give his world for this. Steve knew that everybody could understand what he meant. Clint slapped his back, leaning towards him, "Well, we'll all be calling places here, buddy. I'm telling you."

"I've called dibs on godfather, Rogers.", Tony said with a determined face as if he would fight his way out of this, "And Natasha has called dibs on Godmother." Natasha nodded along with a murderous smirk. Steve just chuckled in their faces. "Sure, you have." he said fondly. Tony's face did a comic revert back to an easy smile as he childishly poked Steve, "No. Fight me on this."

Natasha just pushed them all towards the elevator, "Tony, we all know you're going to share that title with him, one way or another. You'll be too stuck in your workshop. I, on other hand, am an exclusive godmother."

It was too late because by then, Tony's eyes had already dimmed out, "I will never be busy enough for my family." Clint pressed the buttons for their floors, keeping himself busy. Natasha nodded back weakly at Tony, her green eyes clouded with apology and acknowledgement. 

And Steve Rogers, in all his glory, said, "I still don't know what a Galaga is." getting himself the biggest eye roll and the snarkiest grin from the genius. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aforementioned Ms. Martin is also an original character just like the other tons of OC I'm writing up in this fic.


	4. The way he holds his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, this officially ranges in the 6K words area and I'm posting this after an eon ie.barely 5 days. But boy, this chapter needed it. 
> 
> It felt like a charm when I wrote it.

They were all sitting around haphazardly in the living room watching Dog Cops. Well, Clint was actually the only one watching it. The others were just there because Clint had called an immediate meeting, later clarifying that he was bored out of his mind.

It did feel like it was more than that. It was more about him wanting company most of the time after Loki. The fear was evident. The acceptance was not. Nobody had complains.

The aforementioned man was hanging upside down on the couch and all Tony could wonder was if Clint felt human tendencies like  _ dizziness, for example.  _ Clint's face was fucking red and that man, perhaps voo-doo-ed, seemed unfazed.

Natasha was perched on the bar with her headphones on and her eyes trained on the video playing on her screen. She was rewatching a surveillance clip again and again. By the extent Tony's assumption went, he guessed this was the sixth time. 

Steve, however, was sitting on the floor near the floor-to-ceiling windows. Ever since he had moved in, he had this fascination of being near those windows. Sometimes he'd draw under the dulcet streams of sunlight in mornings or read something while gazing softly at the twinkling bright lights of the city at night.

It was pleasing for Tony to see him like that. As if it was Steve's natural habitat. Steve wasn't exactly happy as much as everyone could see a man who still grieved everything he lost to the ice but he was calmer, at peace when he was in that space.  _ His space.  _

Steve was reading something Natasha had given him that morning. It was obvious that he was dragging his feet through it. It was clearly taking a toll on him and Tony felt like he was seconds away from snatching it away from Steve. 

But he knew that whatever it was, Steve had to get used to this. Tony was delaying giving him some specific reports hoping he could lock himself before the Captain read about how his friend Howard died at the hands of his brainwashed best friend. 

He had avoided any confrontation about it since as long as he could remember and he was absolutely not willing to go spilling his guts if a certain Captain walked in to  _ talk about it.  _

To be honest, Tony would actually throw a much larger fit if the Captain came barrelling in, spewing apologies for something none of them had control over. 

Tony hated that. The  _ 'sorry' _ s the people give which are not exactly theirs to use. 

He'd faced it enough when people threw a billion  _ 'sorry' _ s for his father, a legendary inventor, passing away. Tony could care less for their fake painted faces as he grieved alone for his Mama and wished he could punch their faces bloody before he could run away to Jarvis.

On a broader perspective, Tony didn't think that a time was ever near when he'll be ready to talk about it. Especially with Bucky. 

Especially after bearing it during the 2010 drama he had almost-fucking-died through. 

Thank god for Eleanora who taught him the better parts of forgiveness or his world would be in shambles. Or he'd be probably dead.

Tony turned back his gaze to the holographic display pulsing with blue light and flowing with calculations. He was sitting cross-legged on the soft rug as the coffee table was tugged and turned to his convenience.

After pulling a thirty hour bender in his workshop, he had figured how to call the suit with the subcutaneous electronic devices he had injected in his arm. The trial had gone well despite the fact that Bucky found him on the floor with his hands hovering over his groin in pain.

Everyone knew that he was making modifications to the armour although they didn't know the extent. They didn't know that he had already reached Mark XVI and it had barely been months since the Chitauri attack. 

Tony also knew he was obsessively building up an Iron Legion. There was no justification on his brain except that this was the only way he knew how to protect everyone and stay alive himself. 

Doing that and all the while, deeply ignoring the presence of his anxiety attacks every time he thought too deep about the wormhole. He felt the familiar buzz under his skin as he felt his mind skating over the ridges of mind-numbing panic.

Trying hard to not let it exceed and have JARVIS notify him in front of the people in this room, he tried controlling his breath. The lights above him automatically dimmed a little and the constant sound from the TV reduced to an extent.  _ Never let it be known JARV knew him inside-out. _

Tony didn't think he could live without JARVIS. J knew Tony wouldn't acknowledge the attack in front of others so he rather chose to quietly help him through it. 

Nobody asked. Either they were acting too busy or just being perceptive like Natasha who didn't raise an eye from the tablet but strutted towards him firmly, entangling her hand in his arm and raised him up, muttering about some  _ help  _ as she made him sit on the couch. 

She rested her legs on his and pushed the tablet in his hand, then resting her body on his side. Tony looked at the screen and noticed some schematics from the repulsor tech. 

Nat sighed, "Think you went in for this one. They are planning something with the helicarriers." She gestured at the schematics, "Even if they're completely wrong." 

Tony slightly smirked at her, "I was just snooping around their servers. They were digging through my old tech so I thought why not leave them a small explosion procedure. Nothing about our tech is right on their servers, I made sure of that."

Natasha grinned at him as she tugged the tablet back, smacking his arm lightly while he was busy wiggling his eyebrow and mocking shock at her happiness. 

That was probably how he didn't notice JARVIS announcing something. He turned around to get J to repeat what he said but instead saw a particular Dr. Banner standing in his line of vision, his hands clasped tight on the bag as his knuckles had turned white while he rocked back on his heels nervously.

It was astonishing how people had called Hulk a beast and a monster while this man was a nervous ball of calmness who would ask people's permission even before walking besides them. He was a prime example of oxymoron in himself.

Bruce smiled as if he were unwelcome, "It's hard to keep running. And I considered your offer. I'm the safest here." Tony sprang up from his place and wandered over to the nervous doctor fiddling with his hands as he repeated in glee, "You're tiptoeing, big man. You need to strut."

Bruce relaxed a lot more as his smile grew bigger corresponding to the welcome one on Tony's face. He shrugged playfully, "I'm actually here just because of the lab." Tony would not be responsible if his lower lip jutted out a little in mocking disappointment because nobody except Bruce was supposed to see that.

Bruce took Tony's outstretched hand, shaking it before Tony retracted it. It was as if he could sense that Tony was not used to touching people constantly. 

It was good, having this many people who gave Tony tactile reassurance every now and then but sometimes Tony felt overwhelmed. He wanted to crawl to them and ask them to hold him forever at the same time as he felt an itch to get away from everyone and everything.

Tony chimed a  _ 'Welcome to the frat house.'  _ as he gazed back gratefully at Bruce.

Steve interrupted Tony's upcoming snark. "It's good to have you back, Dr. Banner.", he politely said with that pretty smile and sincere eyes.

Bruce smiled shakily, "You too, Captain Rogers." 

Tony huffed in frustration, "Oh boy. We're past that stage. Just call each other Steve and Bruce for heaven's sake. You've texted each other enough about calming tea to almost become besties. Yeah Steve, I was reading your messages over your shoulder. We all do. I'm waiting for your tea party. I demand a pink cup for me and Nat."

Natasha just gave him a two-finger salute with a playful smirk. Clint finally sat straight with his smiling red face, "I call dibs on purple cups."

Steve shook his head at Tony with his Disappointment Face™ while Bruce ignored them both waving back at Clint and passing a gentle shy smile to Natasha. 

His gaze wandered back at Tony, "It's been a long journey. I think I'm going to bed soon. "

Tony smirked happily at the opening, "I can tuck you in if you want." Bruce shook his head at Tony's antics as he looked behind Tony, his gaze wandering in search. 

Tony took his time replying, "They had an appointment. Casual check-up, I think." He stuffed his hands back in his pockets, feeling a rush of relief spread through him that he had people now besides him who were going to look out for Bucky and Pepper too. 

Bruce's eyes jumped to Steve, who was busy reading as his face was scrunched up in pain, "How'd he take it?"

Tony let himself turn to look at Steve with hazy eyes as he replied, "Better than I would have. He was a bit more miserable for days but I think us constantly hovering over him, texting or physically, is helping. He was grieving but he's been better lately. I'm hoping."

Tony shook his head after the momentary silence and swayed his hands to clasp at his back, "Rest well, Bruce-dearest." Bruce smiled sympathetically, sensing the diversion and nodded, swivelling on his heels back towards the elevator. 

Tony wandered back to the coffee table and closed the tabs. He was about to head towards the kitchen to get a dose of coffee for cramming in another work-binge when he heard something clatter.

Tony turned to see the source. The tablet that Steve had been holding was lying on the ground and the man himself was bent over, his hands raking through his hair as he harshly pulled at the roots. 

His face was scrunched up in thunderous horror and realisation which felt a lot like many of the things were clicking in places in his head and he wasn't liking it. Tony half-ran towards him, snatching away the tablet before Steve could reach it.

"That's enough for you. Stop exerting yourself, Steve.", Tony said worriedly. He kept the device behind him while he sat besides Steve, gently pulling away his hands from his hair. 

Natasha and Clint were barely a metre away, considerate enough that they don't crowd Steve. 

Steve's wet eyes looked vacantly in Tony's, holding his gaze still. "Why do you all get to decide when to tell me things?", his angered voice crackled through Tony. Steve's hand shook Tony's grasp but the hands came back to Tony's arm, holding him tight.

Tony felt an overwhelming need to pull away. This wasn't the type of hold Steve gave that Tony was used to. This was harsh and angry, unlike the soft gentle caresses Tony adored.

"What are you talking about, Steve?", Clint treaded closer but Natasha stepped back, taking a step back again and again until she almost walked away. Disbelief ran through Tony as he realised what she had done. 

He knew she wasn't at fault, that it was barely a day more until he could drag giving Steve those files. He hated her for not letting him be prepared and he loved her all the same for not letting him be the one doing it, ripping it away like a bandaid rather than him floundering through it longer.

Steve's hand tugged him closer until Tony looked back in Steve's eyes, "Why do you do this, Tony? I try trusting you. With everything. It's hard but I do. Then a thing like this pops up and I worry if it's you who doesn't trust me enough."

Tony felt a pang of misery rush through him. He tried speaking as he moved in Steve's grip, "I do. It's not like that-"

Steve interrupted before he could go further, loosening his grip and shuffling backwards, "Then you hid it from me because you were afraid of facing it, not because you think I wasn't strong enough to take it." It was more of a statement than a question.

Tony gulped and slumped down weakly. He wouldn't deny that. All of them knew that it was the truth. It was more about Tony than Steve. 

"I saw the video.", Steve's hand trembled as he tried coming back closer to Tony, unsure if he wanted to move away or gather Tony in his arms. Even Tony could sense that.

But what freezed his senses was hearing those words. His world stilled as he faintly heard his mother's trembling voice echoing in his head pleading his father's name as the man lost his last breaths. 

Stuttering breaths desperately calling  _ 'Howard' _ in faded hopes pierced through the silence of her choking over her own blood and air as her life gave away. He imagined the once pristine blue dress she wore when she had played the piano, singing sweetly before kissing him goodbye, then staining red with her blood.

He wished when he threw that  _ 'I love you, dad' _ , he'd have done it genuinely. He wished he had hugged his mother close, kissing her cheek like she did for him and telling her he loved her. He wished it wasn't this man, that he had grown to love as one of his best friends ever, be the puppet who killed the only family he thought he had then.

He also had a memory of being in the suit, holding Bucky down with a repulsor aimed at his head and the other holding Bucky's throat tight just like had choked Tony's mom with his bare flesh hand. 

His throat closed up and he wished for more breaths. Cold dainty hands hugged him close to a body, shaking him back as Tony clasped hard to it. The familiar smell of Natasha's body wash, slowly filling his senses, felt like the only thing he knew in that mess of his head.

Warm fingers traced his face, gently cupping his cheek before moving away. Tony whimpered, opening his eyes to find Steve's eyes staring back in his, sitting closer than before as his hand hovered closer to Tony's face. 

Tony sub-consciously cowered closer to Natasha, hiding his face back in her hair for a second before pulling away completely. There were obvious tremors in his body as he felt more weak than ever. His body was lithe, taking comfort in Nat's hands carding through his hair.

And probably then came the worst part, Steve Rogers staring back at him, "I'm sorry. For everything. For them." Tony's head chanted a steady stream of  _ 'shutupshutupshutup' _ as he pulled his fist back and landed a heavy punch on Steve's face.

"Fuck you. That is not yours to say. You didn't know her. You didn't know him.", Tony spat in a loathsome breath, his hand pulsating with pain as a small part in the back of his mind screamed at him to stop behaving this unjustifiably. 

It screamed at him to stop throwing the anger and hurt he had filled in himself so toxically till today for every fake apology he got towards this innocent man. His  _ 'sorry'  _ was probably more genuine than most he had gotten.

He couldn't do it. He felt tired. He wanted to retreat.

He shuffled up, staring at a shocked Steve holding his jaw. He raised his hand, touching Steve's jaw softly in apology but he couldn't open his mouth to say the words. 

His eyes welled up with tears and his face scrunched up in resonating pain. Steve's eyes betrayed the anger he felt, firm and forgiving.

So he retracted. He got up swiftly, almost running towards the elevator and retreating back to his workshop, somewhere - _ anywhere - _ he could be alone. 

•••

It was the evening of the second day after Tony's blackout lockdown when Steve realised he had absolutely no power over this situation. It was also not something he realised by himself but by a very angry Pepper Potts pacing in the living room.

She had taken one look at him and had outright said it to his face, ' _ Sweet Jesus. You have no power over this situation. You can do nothing.'  _ And then when he stayed quiet sitting unresponsive on the couch, she huffed and plopped down next to him.

_ 'I don't think any of us will ever have a power over this, over whatever Tony does if this ever happens again.' _ , she had worriedly said as she tried to keep her anger out. 

Steve had peered at her,  _ 'We will.' _ And then she had just turned entirely towards him as if he could solve any of her problems and Steve could say he hadn't felt this happier in a while, where the problems weren't completely his and people trusted him enough that he could solve theirs. The belief that he could.

So he had just smiled encouragingly,  _ 'We learn, Pepper. That's the only way. And probably finding a thing worth enough that he'll try solving his own problems for it.' _

Pepper had just stared at him in realisation,  _ 'How do you know? I love Tony, sure. Even I don't want to make him face everything in his head. It's not a can of worms he'll want to open for himself.' _

Steve had gotten up and offered a hand to her which she had taken without hesitation,  _ 'He's been doing it. Probably because of his godchild, he knows that we affect kids just by being around them. Or probably just because he's had enough, maybe he just wants peace for himself?' _

Pepper had gazed at him in perplexity as she let herself be tugged in the Steve Spot. They both just sat down in silence. Finally, Pepper's voice broke through,  _ 'Can you help me run the company?'  _

It was obvious that her voice was amused but Steve took a double-take at her statement with a dramatic  _ 'what?'  _

She shrugged at him, smiling gratefully,  _ 'Or we could try for world domination, as Tony says. Between us both, I'm sure we can do it.' _

Steve had chuckled wholeheartedly,  _ 'I did not participate in saving the world just to take it for myself. Though I do firmly believe that we can.' _

When the laughs had stopped and they were back to reality, Steve decided being truthful was easier,  _ 'I was kind of afraid to talk to you. I've never been good at talking to women, even Peggy said that.' _

Pepper had grinned sympathetically at that and patted him. Steve continued, feeling better, _ 'Natasha is amazing to have as a friend but sometimes I don't know what to talk to her. You both seem perfect in everything you do, it's hard not to feel lesser. But I don't know why talking to you felt easier.' _

She pondered over it before she scrunched up again,  _ 'Or you could care less about that. You have time to figure it out. I don't think you'll lose me as a friend if I decide to latch onto you. And I have.'  _ She tilted her head in challenge.

Steve had just grinned through his relief as he asked about whenever it was when she was free enough to accompany him to MoMA since Bucky had told him she was into art. 

That was probably how an hour later, she had Steve's sketchbook in her hand as she stared at them in wonder and the hot chocolate Steve made beside her. Steve felt lighter and happier as he sipped on his own hot chocolate.

Showing it to Pepper, he didn't feel like he was being judged. She had an amazing eye for art but being messy around her didn't matter, she'd pick you right through it and make it easier. 

As she was looking at a drawing of Peggy, she asked,  _ 'Do you want to meet her?'  _ Steve, as stunned as he was, nodded fast in agreement. 

She closed his book, returning it to him. Her long forgotten hot chocolate finally got her attention back as she began to sip through it.  _ 'I'm going to DC a day after tomorrow. There's this meeting that I can't avoid. If you come along, I can clear you with the lakhs of guards Tony probably has posted around that place. And I can go without anyone hissing at me that I'm going unprotected.' _

Steve wanted to poke at her and ask her if she was real as he grinned at her in wonder, nodding. He felt grateful for having her as a friend.

It hadn't been a smooth sail, telling that to Bucky and everyone but they had eventually given in seeing Steve hovering over Pepper and letting his  _ 'mother-hen'  _ tendencies unleashed onto her. She revelled in it.

Steve felt happier having her, it barely took her days to climb up to one of his best friends. She was gentle whenever she wanted to be but her leadership qualities were in league right up with Steve's. Steve didn't even know when he rather started helping in her work as she handled Stark Industries on one hand.

Steve didn't realise the extent of involvement she had in his life until the time they reached DC together, when Pepper held Peggy's hand and reminded Peggy who they were. Peggy didn't need that introduction.

Peggy had touched Pepper's hair lovingly as she called her Virginia and it had barely taken her a moment to see Steve along with Pepper. There was talking, there was an abrupt infusion of pain but Steve felt glad that he could bear the few stray tears in.

That hadn't stayed that way for long. When he had reached the car, Pepper had emptied the car for him to gather himself without a word as she stood outside discreetly. Steve had called her in, rather choosing to be in the presence of a friend than thinking about it more alone.

DC had been a calm adventure, they experienced a lot of things, many of firsts for Steve. It was as if she understood that this was exactly what he needed at the moment. They returned two days later with happiness so evident that everyone felt lighter.

Tony, on the other hand, took longer than the team had anticipated as he strolled out of his cave in the morning, a week later. He looked more terrible than before and it was getting painful to see him climbing that scale upwards. 

Steve's eyes burned a little when Pepper, who had been smacking Clint for interrupting her cravings, stopped everything, eyes widened comically as she stumbled over to Tony wrapping him up in a hug. Tony wasted no time in hugging her back as he rested his face on her shoulders apologising for locking them out. 

Steve wanted to be the one to apologise because he was the one who hadn't been careful enough to avoid insensitivity but he sensed there was a bigger picture here. Something driving Tony to lock himself up in his own tower besides Steve's provocation, some additional confrontation that Tony had been avoiding with his friends.

What baffled him was Bucky staying rooted to his spot playing with his cereals, not even looking at Tony. There was a tenseness to his shoulder that had returned with Tony. It was obvious to Tony too because as soon as Pepper let him go, he sauntered to Bucky saying, "Okay."

That was all it took for Bucky's eyes to snap back at Tony as Bucky's face morphed in painful surprise, "Okay?" Tony nodded, sitting beside him and playing with the metal plates on Bucky's arm with an innocence that made Steve's breath stutter.

Bucky's face softened impossibly, "She's not horrible." Tony's eyes narrowed at him, "I know. I hired her." He was grumpy but he wanted to be here, it was obvious.

Pepper interrupted him with a wagging finger, "Uh-uh, you threatened her." She then started waving a mug of hot coffee in Tony's narrowed vision and literally a second later he started making grabby hands for it. 

"I was making sure she'd do this right and not open her mouth in the wrong places. Or just not be HYDRA herself. I didn't need any mumbo-jumbo therapist screwing up Bucky's idiot head.", Tony said as he got the mug, blowing a mocking kiss to Pepper before taking a sip of the scalding coffee and sighing in relief. 

Bucky shook his head at Tony and got up, "She's free today. I'll call her. Eat something before you run off. And meet me before 11. No fashionably late shit, do you hear me?" Bucky hesitated as his raw despair became more tangible. 

He sighed, giving in and dropped a peck on Tony's head, walking away quickly to somewhere, as Pepper took the place he had emptied, pulling her bowl away from Clint who was still peeping into it. 

Tony had this perceptible amount of relief on his face as his eyes traced the edges of the mug. He looked up smiling and jutted his lip out as he whined, "I sometimes feel like you have both adopted me. But then you subject me to third-wheeling and all the parental love just vanishes." He snapped his fingers for effect.

Natasha clanged her spoon against the corner of her bowl, "I've known that for a year now." smirking and looking as deadly as she could with her bed hair.  _ Which was deadly enough.  _

"No one likes a know-it-all.", Tony retorted back, finishing his cup of coffee which was still unbelievably fast for a burning liquid as he got up. Natasha had probably reconciled with Tony over whatever tension they had developed on that day but Steve still didn't know how she had access to Tony the past week.

Tony elbowed Clint on the way out as the archer yelped. He swayed a hand over Clint randomly, "I am afraid of Pepper almost as much as Natasha. I hope you know what you're doing messing with her food." 

Clint took that exact time to look at Pepper who gave him a sweet smile promising bad outcomes. It was safe to say Clint suddenly found his Lucky Charms more interesting as he started munching on it like a tantrum-throwing kid.

Tony threw a two-finger salute in generic at everyone in the room, saying a warm  _ 'hi' _ to Bruce who was entering the kitchen at the same time and walked away. 

Steve tried to not feel like he had screwed up, but it was impossible not to. He just got up and started washing his plate ignoring Clint's reasoning of dishwashers. Natasha just smacked Clint shut and offered to dry the dishes as Pepper gazed at him worriedly.

•••

It hadn't been easy to open up when Tony despised the thought of just opening his mouth and not blab his usual masks to a shrink. He didn't think he knew how to do that, open up that is.

But he tolerated through it in hopes that he'd at least get better enough so he could get a wink of sleep or better yet, not throw things and say hurtful words when people try to help him out of his workshop after a 48 hour exertion.

He'd hadn't ever been more grateful for Bucky's healing than he was that day. Bucky ended up healing pretty quickly after sporting a red swelling quickly turning purple from where Tony had thrown a cube at him. Pepper had walked out the next second to keep her calm.

That had let his self-indulgent lockdown to extend up to about a week, more than he had intended to. He gave up solving it all on his own at one point and walked out immediately to accept Bucky's offer. 

Mrs. Jensen was not by any chance horrible at her job. She had done a damn good work helping Bucky pull out of much of his conditioning. She had eased him through getting fragments of his memories back and handled it much better than anyone else when Bucky just broke more with everything he remembered. She had helped bring him to a state of normalcy he felt today.

Tony wished her witchcraft would work on him too.

He felt bone-tired after talking to her for hours. He didn't know if he felt light because he was too sleep-deprived to even know what light felt like. 

So he dragged himself back home, avoided interaction and fell into a sleep coma. He was grateful for being tired enough that he didn't wake up because of some nightmare. 

Instead, he forced his eyes open a good five hours later. Everything still felt the same as Tony pushed himself out of his yet inviting soft bed. He knew his one day would do no good when Bucky himself had taken almost three years.

When he dragged himself downstairs amongst  _ people _ , it was time for dinner and he felt too drained to have a conversation so he just sat in a corner, listening to them and eating as much as he could. 

He knew that they understood not to broach touchy subjects for now and hence, no one mentioned the silence on his part.

Except for Captain Rogers who was horrifyingly failing at acting unaffected. He was like a kicked puppy.

Tony had avoided any run-ins with him in the past week and it struck him many times that Steve might be in a misbelief that Tony was in this state because of Steve when instead it was just Tony giving in to the fact that he has issues he needs to face right now. And hopefully get better before he starts affecting his godchild. 

So when everyone was going off to bed later that night, Tony had held Steve's arm back and nodded towards the ramp outside with a tired sway in his body. Steve had stared at him disbelievingly but he collected himself and gave a nod to Tony, heading there.

Steve was the first one to be there and Tony felt thankful to get some time and space alone before getting overwhelmed.

Tony could almost sense the guilt wafting off of Steve. He gritted his teeth and took the tablet he had brought with him earlier in case he needed to avoid human interaction. Turned out that everyone was happy to give Tony space to figure out what he needs.

Walking out on the ramp towards where an impatient super-soldier was tapping a rhythm with his foot, Tony dropped down in the centre of the circle and tucked himself small as he sat. He waited patiently as Steve tentatively sat down beside him, still in confusion. 

It was minutes after staring at the ever-beautiful skyline which seemed studded with shining lights that Tony whispered in low tones, "Don't do that to yourself, Steve." 

Steve's simultaneous sigh indicated the apology coming but Tony looked at him straight in the eye, "Stop taking responsibility for the things you haven't done. Even if it's in your head."

Steve gulped, his throat bobbing with the force of it, "I've read and read and heard you all talk about it but I never know what's happening. I guess that's why I didn't take it better. It's suffocating."

Tony felt his insides churning when he realised what Steve was perceiving through this. He was right in a way. Tony had no right to decide what to say and what to hide when he promised transparency to Steve since day one.

Steve, on the other hand, was taking none of it as he studied Tony, "I know you say I can talk to anyone. But I can't. I can't talk to anyone about Bucky being under HYDRA. And him facing things. And then doing things even if it wasn't him."

Steve stopped trying to remember where it was going. He continued, "It's harder for you all to talk about it than for me to absorb it and that's obvious. I feel like I'm spiralling in a circle not knowing what to talk except strategizing or apologising or grieving. Pepper has been the only one who talks about anything other than that."

Tony blinked back trying to comprehend the depth of how much everybody was undergoing through everything in different ways, "Take this." he handed the tablet to Steve who took it hesitantly. Tony knew he had no words to say so he took the coward's way out.

He urged Steve to take a look. The man kept his eyes trained on the tablet as the video played, happy voices bringing up that memory again as Tony felt a tinge of happiness bloom in his chest. 

It was worth everything in the world to sit beside Steve watching his best friend find out he was going to be a father. Steve was happily stunned, the cold wind brushing on his screen had no relation to the goosebumps that had risen on his skin. 

Tony was familiar with the happy feeling where he felt detached from his body, like other problems were for later and this happiness was far more important. He felt content being able to provide that to Steve.

He shuffled a bit closer to Steve in hopes of giving him comfort but instead relished himself in Steve's warmth. "This was the night we fought the aliens, wasn't it?", Steve's trembling voice filled him as Tony nodded, resting his head on his hand and staring blatantly at Steve.

"I can't thank you enough. I thought I had missed my chance at getting to see this.", Steve's voice was close enough for Tony to feel the deep rumbles.

"There are tons. Figured you'd wanna see it. There's also this particular video of him admitting to Rhodey about pining over Pepper. That's my second favourite probably after this.", Tony chuckled looking down at his folded legs and picked on the edges of his clothes.

Steve looked at Tony like he wasn't real or as if he was the only thing that mattered for a moment. Tony would probably never get over the intensity of stares Steve gave. 

He shuddered a bit, imagining being the epicenter of Steve's attention. It made him weak in the knees to imagine someone getting that kind of loving attention.

Steve probably took it the other way, thinking Tony was probably cold as he shifted closer to Tony until the brunet was almost tucked into his side.

"There's been this thing-", Tony spoke, feeling the drowsiness seep inside him again as he leaned into Steve, "The sorry you tried giving me was just Bucky's, I thought. Like everytime in my life, people have tried to say meaningless sorrys as if I'm some volatile factor that they have to placate and control."

He started toying with his fingers to relieve his anxiety, "I knew yours was genuine and it wasn't the same. But I have grown so used to getting those sorrys that I forget their actual purpose."

Steve nodded in understanding, "I wasn't apologizing for Bucky. I was apologizing for mishandling you. I opened up something which you were still recovering from without consideration. Moreover, the way I held you-"

Tony stopped him before Steve could think more over it, clasping his hand over Steve's arm, "I was surprised and overwhelmed. But it didn't hurt me. It's okay."

Steve just looked at him weirdly as if he couldn't understand Tony. Tony took that time for diversion, "Pepper is one of the only people who has stayed this long with me. I'm actually not surprised that you both are getting along."

Steve gave a surprised laugh and started blabbing about how amazing having her as a friend was and how SI had some damn good employees and how the trip to DC turned completely over from what he had thought will happen. 

Tony listened quietly with a smile spanned on his face, enraptured by the sudden change in the blond's demeanour. He let himself feel fond over Steve and he hoped the soldier didn't see how smitten Tony was just by looking at his face.

There were times when he butted in,  _ 'Rhodey is the only person ever who knows the most about you through The Bucky Tales but still hasn't met you'  _ when Steve mentioned his desire to meet the Colonel.

The wind coldly swayed the golden strands of Steve's hair sticking them at odd angles and Tony, in all his drowsy glory, slapped a hand over a stunned Steve's head admitting concerns over his hair looking like an insect antenna.

Steve had just gazed at Tony with such tenderness that Tony felt strong and fragile at the same time. It felt okay to give in this much part of him as he chose to show Steve that Tony trusted him rather than telling him. 

But then Steve kept laughing on him and Tony was dopey enough to pout slightly. His lithe body was almost attached to Steve like a fifth limb trying to irritate him but the man rather tugged him in and expressed absolutely no irritation. _ The heathen. _

Steve just asked JARVIS to document this under the  _ 'sleepy Tony'  _ folder as he smirked mischievously at Tony when JARVIS replied in affirmation. There was this happy playfulness that Steve had let Tony see.

And Tony wanted to kiss Steve with an inch of his life until his toes curled beneath him for that. For everything. For probably just being Steve. But Christ, it became harder for Tony to just not give into the urge. So he looked straight ahead, avoiding any eye contact and tried to smother how deeply screwed he was. 

There was a stretch of comfortable silence before Tony twisted his lips in a mockery of a smile, "I planted a virus in SHIELD's server yesterday for fun." and the corresponding  _ 'Tony' _ warning from Steve along with that disbelieving hearty laugh was worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've ever felt this satisfied after writing a chapter. This was an amazing emotional rollercoaster.
> 
> I absolutely needed Pepper and Steve's friendship. The compatibility they have was something never mentioned in the movies. God, they could've been the bestest of friends, but still.. tHANks MaRveL, anyway.
> 
> I also needed Tony to address he's not okay instead of him suffering it like a lone wolf and dragging it like in Iron Man 3. 
> 
> I needed him to understand that it was a priority, especially when he knows how mental health of family affects a child. He was a prime victim of that diabolical behaviour. Except Jarvis and Ana, they were the gems.
> 
> Plus the moment of Steve and Tony just falling all over each other gives me life.


	5. Je vois la vie en rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Je vois la vie en rose' indirectly means 'seeing life through rose coloured glasses'. 
> 
> Rose-coloured being pink is a colour that shows easy happiness. It's like seeing life through a happy filter where everything feels good, the people you love feel wonderful.

Somehow in a mess of twisted faith, Tony always had more bad days than he had good. It was scarily similar to a graph Tony had started in his teenage years of emotional instability plotted against his timeline.

It had a fair slope of negligible consideration when he was a kid but then. Boy, did it take an eerie parabolic curve upwards as he continued to grow up. 

Tony had expected it to be like an exponential because he had become so cynical at many points in his life that he never thought he'd get to a point where he'd be happy.

But he did and again it was like the graph had grown tumultuous right about after Afghanistan. He felt happy because he slowly formed a family with a recovering assassin and the people he hadn't realised were already his family.

It hadn't occurred to him until recently when he stumbled over those stupid graphs which were still lounging on his servers under the file name  _ 'Children of the grave'.  _ His drunk teenage self had probably been listening too much of Black Sabbath while making miserable life graphs.

The graph wasn't plotted beyond 21, when Tony took over SI. It was as if his younger self knew he had to abandon this stupidity but  _ 21!Tony _ did write a parting note.  _ 'Someday, I'll complete you.' _

Tony didn't. He extended the graph up to date and drew a fairly hyperbolic graph down, still far away from the axis. He was better but he wasn't finished, the graph wasn't supposed to be complete. God, he had so much to do.

And with people at his back looking out for him, that didn't seem like a burden. He had plans now. Besides the ones like launching another StarkPhone in a month. They ranged from  _ 'making protocols for children like the upcoming kid and Clint'  _ to  _ 'taking a Captain to Malibu who had quite recently developed its fascination'. _

It was nice.

These rounds of endless talking with Mrs. Jensen and trying to adapt healthy coping mechanisms were taking a good turn on him without any doubt but he had never felt this tired. Talking about things he had long accepted in his life and moved on was like scraping an old wound.

Tony hadn't ever tried reconsidering the things he had felt since he was a kid. There was always this need to go forward and never stop. He loved the thrill of fast thoughts in his head. He had grown to hate the silence. And now he hated that he was questioning what he loved and what he did not. 

There were days when he wished he could slow down his head for a moment, just a breath of silence which wasn't as terrifying as the ringing one he had felt in that wormhole. 

He had not imagined getting it as he grew impatient in his search for it. What he also did not hope for was to find it in trivial things. Things he did before but things he now did while having company, someone who was chatting their way inside his head or someone showing they love him in silence. 

He could see that everyone took their time with him, spending time one-on-one and not crowding him. Not touching him too much but giving him enough to warm him up entirely. Sure, he had fights, massive screaming matches that made him feel wrecked. 

He didn't forget the time when Steve questioned him whether everything Tony had planned would go exactly the way he wanted which turned into an altercation in seconds but he also didn't forget that just a day later, Steve had come sauntering in his workshop and began tallying plans to fall back on in case of failed contingencies. 

Tony knew Steve wasn't a master strategist for nothing, but the drive to do everything himself to make sure it doesn't go wrong had been drilled in Tony.

There was this bridge of trust he had taken his time to reach and people respected that. By now, if he depended on Steve to make the plans more often, there wasn't this blinding fear that it'll go wrong. He trusted Cap enough to not do that.

He was used to Steve coming down to the workshop and persuade him for menial human tasks. That was probably why he had casually thrown a  _ 'I'm wondering what you'll lure me with when I'm more old and more mature. Now you use coffee, will it work forever? You know what, it probably will. My gene probably has coffee in it by now.' _

He had heard metal clangs of his tools falling on the floor. Turning to Steve who was leaning on that empty table, he had certainly not expected Steve to be in half shock as he said,  _ 'I didn't realise I'd get to stay here forever.' _

Tony had just smiled sadly thinking that Steve probably wished for his past life but that certainly came to a stop with the next words,  _ 'I never thought about it. But I'll always lure you with coffee and it will always work. You can't snatch my main plans.'  _ Steve had grinned with bewildering happiness radiating from him, tugging Tony away from work.

It was weird. How people didn't think about it when most of the time Tony was calculating what would happen further. Yes, present was good but it was amazing how people cared a little less about those future possibilities. People lived in the present, Tony had soon understood that he had to do that too. Live now, future was okay but past did you no good.

Tony remembers this bad day he had which tested everyone's patience because Tony refused to give in. He screamed insults at them and hid in the garage behind the shiny cars, like he did when he was a child. It was enough until it wasn't.

JARVIS had had enough by then and under seconds, Tony was coccooned in Bucky's warmth. Bucky cradled him like a child even when Tony fought tooth and nail to get him to leave, but he didn't. 

He let Tony scream until his throat was hoarse and all Tony could do was whisper dead words.  _ 'I am so angry. It scares me. I'm filled with so much hatred for some people who were supposed to love me. They are dead, why can't I get past it?'  _

Bucky had combed Tony's curls shushing him, his fingers tracing a consistent pattern at the back of Tony's neck,  _ 'Grief doesn't work that way, darlin'. You didn't get a closure before and now when you're trying to reach there, it's going to be a bit more difficult.' _

Tony had all but whined, winding his arms around Bucky as Bucky had meekly asked,  _ 'Are we important, Tones?'  _ Tony had smacked him hard enough for an answer.

Bucky had given a sad chuckle at that as he extracted Tony away to look him in the eye,  _ 'If we're important, then the fact that you love us should also be more important than the fact that you hate someone dead.' _

Tony had shook his head incredulously, raising his eyebrows in disbelief,  _ 'You think it's not? It fucking is. I'm just afraid, okay. Suddenly there's this giant dissolving mass of negativity in me which is taking more time to finish than I expected. There's this crippling sense of fear that fills my skull that what if I hadn't realised sooner. What if it was one of my weapons that took Rhodey from me? What if I had been the same person? I'd have never gotten you all then.' _

Bucky had just smiled in a cryptic way,  _ 'Did that happen?'  _ Tony tried interrupting with reasons but Bucky wouldn't hear a word as he asked,  _ 'Yes or no, Tones?'  _

Tony had given in as he had shaken his head, dropping it in Bucky's lap and heard Bucky quietly go on,  _ 'Does it matter then? If you're letting possibilities taint you, imagine if I had just broke away from the conditioning sooner so people could be alive. If I had not gotten better, what even was I? A use-whenever-necessary killer doll? I have no value then.' _

Tony had sworn hard like vitriol spilling from his gut. He had elbowed Bucky hard,  _ 'I'll get Nat and Pep if you say things like that. You are so fucking beyond invaluable, that world can't afford you, okay? You've seen things yet you are here happy, fighting against those fuckers, have stable relationships and almost have a mini-Bucky. You are one of the best things in my life, James Buchanan Barnes, don't ever doubt that.' _

Bucky had just pecked Tony's head,  _ 'Now I hope you know how much you mean to me, nightlight.'  _ Tony had just punched him harder and let Bucky drag him back upstairs to eat some Indian cuisine Bruce was cooking up. Everyone got a good view of Tony being an octopus all over Bucky the entire evening.

Not much farther, there was a subsequent time in the forthcoming weeks when Bucky had slipped in some trance when some misplaced ice had toppled over his hands, sliding over and wetting his sleeve entirely. Steve being beside him was much worse since the man himself saw Bucky in that state and could almost feel the gust of cold air forming hard frozen crystals on his own skin. 

It had taken some time for Steve to get it under control, until then Tony and Natasha were on his either sides. Steve had strangely enough focused only on the arc reactor's blue glow as Tasha had dug her nails slightly in his hands like she always did to tug them back to herself when any of them needed her comfort. 

Steve had been strangely open about how he had talked about this with the  _ 'talk-about-anything' _ man who had sessions with him twice a week. He had spaced out seeing Bucky already slightly recovered as his face was tucked in Pepper's neck. 

What had brought Steve back to senses was seeing Clint tuck his face like a cat between Bucky and Pepper, lying on the kitchen floor and claiming himself their third lovechild, clearly not challenging Tony's status as the second. 

Bruce had just hopped on the kitchen counter, asking about whenever it was when Thor would return from Asgard. And then suddenly,  _ 'if Thor..' _ was also a major part of their plans. 

Bruce had recently been in contact with Dr. Selvig and Dr. Foster, they had warned him to stack up the Pop Tarts if they wanted Thor to stay when he'd be visiting in a few days. Honestly though, now they had enough Pop Tarts to bait a god.

Though focusing on other things and not prioritising their problems just for a moment wasn't a solution for them, as it seemed.

It had been a fickle awakening for everyone when Clint had a massive breakdown where there were no tears but a shivering Clint sitting on the edge of the rooftop, completely disconnected from what they said. 

Apparently, according to JARVIS, this was because he had seen Coulson while he was taking a last sweep at Fury's background. The trust they had started developing that Fury was clean and would help them was shattered in seconds.

That day they witnessed Natasha Romanoff talk the most she had in one standing. They also found out that even though Fury wasn't HYDRA, he was a lying piece of shit and Clint had been seconds away from sticking an arrow in him for hiding Coulson. 

Living with these people was an experience that Tony hadn't been prepared for but it sure as hell felt good. 

He had his bad days but he had people to help him through it. He had his best friend who despite being busy as fuck took time to call him and tease him and make sure he was loved. Tony hadn't ever needed to tell Rhodey most of the things because many of those times Rhodey just knew, he knew when to push and he knew when to not. 

That was probably why just looking at Tony through a video call was enough for Rhodey to announce that he was applying for a leave soon. Things were changing around Tony and he couldn't stop the feeling of longing, realising that his Platypus wasn't an active part of it, spread through him. Rhodey probably saw it in a glance.

That was probably why he always had a part of Tony with him. Calling Rhodey his brother felt lesser sometimes. 

Best friends for the world? They are. But he had recently started having many best friends and he didn't want to give Rhodey's place to anyone. It felt childishly reasonable.

Tony also had an archer for a close friend who would hang down his vents and ask Tony to drive him around the city in fast cars. They did their trade in Lucky Charms which felt more mature than half the deals Tony decided in dumb board meetings.  _ He should buy Pepper some Lucky Charms. _

What was rather terrifying was witnessing an incident of Clint being stupid and Bucky staring at him incredulously in awe,  _ 'If only I didn't know that Pepper is the absolute love of my life and soulmate and everything that runs along that line, Clint might've been my soulmate.'  _

Clint had taken the mocking in full force as he batted his lashes at Bucky but Bucky continued,  _ 'If only we didn't know better.' _ and then Bucky had smirked irritatingly along with Natasha that made Tony itch with curiosity. 

Natasha, though.

He had a Tasha who would climb up his workshop table and sit there sharpening a knife or suggesting modifications on suits to work better, faster and efficiently. 

Those acts were so Natasha that Tony couldn't help the spread of love as he kissed her forehead when she asked him to make retractable knives with compatible handles for Steve's suit since he just had his fists and shield. Which weren't less but tell that to a Nat who tsked over Steve's bloodied knuckles. 

That day he had overheard Steve telling Pepper about how on a group full of humans who had equal chances of injury, Natasha was making life better for a super-soldier. If Tony went back to give Tasha another cheek kiss in daze of overwhelming love, it was just her who knew. 

She also was the first person ever to knit Tony an ugly sweater which was one of the most beautiful things that Tony owned. The paparazzi had a field day when he pranced around Central park wearing it with a Nat on his arm who scared everyone into submission.

Now, Tony also had a Bruce who didn't mind being his science bro and played along when Tony babbled physics and robotics when they were all huddled for dinner with a moody Pepper who won't accept excuses to miss it. 

Bruce was worse than Pepper if any news of explosions in Tony's lab reached his ear. The only difference? Pepper would worry and threaten him to stop risking himself. Bruce would worry and let antiseptics burn on his injuries with a too sweet smile.  _ That man was a sweet devil. _

Then there was this man who gave paramount importance to muffins. Tony had one Bucky Barnes who was probably one of the best moms Tony had ever had though he would never say it out loud. 

Buck was also a celestial person who listened to Tony's whim even if he denied fulfilling them. Except the one time he agreed to let Tony make the coffee machine sentient. He was Tony's favourite for a total of thirty minutes before he gossiped it with Steve who snitched it to Pepper. 

James Barnes has been an elite member of the Tony Stark Protection Squad who had recently also taken elite places in literally everyone's protection squad. 

Which also meant that the man who had told nasty things to Bruce without knowing who he was, when they were all out for dinner discreetly, was a little traumatized when he came out of the restroom with Bucky trailing after him. 

He had paid no mind to Pepper's or Steve's glare, instead announcing Bruce as the  _ 'pack puppy who turns into a momentarily green angry puppy but is also the maturest puppy amongst them'  _ to which Tony and Clint had given wholehearted support. Even Natasha passed a nod of respect to Bucky. 

Bruce, however, instead of being a nervous wreck like he had been months ago, happily received the title and gave Bucky a meatball as a prize who gladly took it. Which wasn't exactly a prize, Bruce was just clarifying that it was Bucky who was the dog. Rest all were Bruce's titles now.

_ Childish, the entire lot of them. _ Maturest? That was a title only applicable to Ms. Potts. 

There was this very pregnant Pepper Potts who became a lot more scarier and sweeter and emotional all at the same time as her pregnancy progressed. Her mood wings were probably more unstable than a hyperactive kid with sugar high on a see-saw.

It was safe to say that the sentient coffee machine had no longer been sentient. Pepper's words were the fate of the universe and were not to be challenged. Tony wouldn't ever try to, she had single-handedly helped Tony make his life better.

God, he loved her so much. There were times when Tony wished he could just give anything in this world to protect her from everything bad that could ever happen. He also couldn't imagine how much he would love that spawn she'd mother that two of the people he loved beyond himself had made.

All of that was easy. Having all of them was easy company, easy camaraderie, easy understanding and easy to love them. Their presence had grown to be as assuring as the blue light in his chest felt.

Tony Stark also had a Captain Steve Rogers in his corner. Having Steve was easy and tough at the same time though. Initially, he had been an adorable dork on one hand and a belligerent ass on the other. It wasn't long before everyone got acknowledged to the sassy and messy Steve, snitch Steve, curse-like-a-sailor Steve, cheating-in-games Steve and especially suddenly-Pepper's-best-friend Steve. 

Tony was smart enough to know that the world wasn't ready for them to take over and he rather tried being the goat on their good pages. Honestly though, Steve's presence had grown to be a blanket of security, it wasn't just Tony who would say that, it was everyone.

Tony could gladly say that he got to see a new side of the man from time to time. He would randomly have Steve drop in to tell him about Patricia in the graphics department at SI who taught Steve so many things  _ where he could use his artistic side digitally.  _

And when Tony would ask him how Steve got there, Steve had shrugged saying,  _ 'I was just getting help with the gala for Maria Stark Foundation'.  _ That was how Tony found out about how Steve had been helping manage Maria Stark Foundation alongside Pepper because the man said quote  _ he'd rather participate in the good cause than just sit here idly being a national icon showpiece for nothing _ unquote. 

Tony had to excuse himself and run away before he burst from adoration for that man in front of him. But the series of 'excuse me's wouldn't end there.

When the planned gala did occur, Pepper had to stay in with Bucky which also turned into a dont-come-back-until-10 event because they decided to have a date. By the time they walked in the gala, it was unequivocally decided that Steve was probably the only person who knew everything about it. 

It had gone fairly good. Well, up to the point where some investors had sneered at Tony talking about the past weapon deals and the  _ sub-par levels _ of SI these days. Tony had taken seconds to absolutely skin them alive with words until they could just nod horrifically and walk away. 

He had also not noticed Steve who had been beside him the entire time, who got his first-hand experience of Tony being a vicious corporate shark when push came to shove. But Steve just stared at him in awe instead of recoiling in disgust. 

As largely confused as Tony was, he played on with a smirk on his face until Steve reflected back his smirk to him. Sure, Tony was insecure and had self-doubts larger than the glaciers that drowned Titanic, the one thing Tony Stark could easily see was if people desired him. For whatever it was that was happening at that moment, Steve did. 

Tony had rolled it into a chance event suspecting that he was projecting his own emotions at himself through Steve, but it kept happening. Steve was shy with his affections and that was exactly why Tony felt thrown into a confusing loop when Steve didn't mask many of them for Tony.

Soon Tony had given up efforts to completely hide his own. It came bubbling up like a lava when they were caught in cross fire at a HYDRA base. Tony had been one building too far when an explosion had rocked and taken down two of the other buildings, the infrastructures collapsing down like jenga.

There were civilians trapped under and so was the Captain. The team had scoured the fallen debris to get everyone out. As far as Tony's thermal scans worked, there was no warm body under the rubble. His blood had ran cold at the thought of it as Natasha refused to listen and kept searching, deploying Tony towards the other buildings.

Tony silently went through every command she gave when there was a deafening static as the Captain came back online, asking for help about half a mile away from the explosion. Tony rushed to him even before Nat would direct him to, which she did.

There was a split second of manic fear when Tony saw Steve standing near an upturned vehicle and bodies left behind in his wake. He had almost launched himself at Steve as he landed beside him with a thud, running a quick scan to find traces of drowsiness. 

Steve had clung to Tony telling him about the dumb agents who tried to tranq Steve and take him away. He had rested his head on Tony's metallic chest, asking him why he was so tired. 

It took a second for that fatigue to vanish as Steve perked up and ran towards the other direction, shouting at Tony to call for the medics. Clint was probably listening in because seconds later he was diverting medics towards them.

Tony shot in the sky and got an upper view of Steve cradling a bleeding man. He landed near them, opening his suit and nudging Steve a little as he pushed Steve's hand on the wound at different angles. 

He started listing down the observations to the medic on his way and asked JARVIS to forward further scans. The man's blood pressure started spiking as he woke up in fear, calling out for someone. 

The blood flowed out more colouring Steve's hands red as he shushed at the man, telling him about the different swirls of smoke that had risen in the sky. He made up things about some phoenix and stuff as the man calmed back down to being unconscious. 

The medics soon took over, whisking the man away but neither of them moved from there. Steve looked detached and hollowed as he kept murmuring a prayer for that man. Tony had cradled his face, letting Steve's bloodied hands clutch him tighter. He hadn't let go for hours and Tony was okay with that.

Steve let them see him at his weakest again and again, not bothering at trying to hide his trauma anymore. For a man who had seen war and woke up to dead friends, the war had certainly changed Steve. Not like it had changed Howard, making him cruel and cold.

It had made Steve strong enough to know it's okay to depend on others and when to ask for help. He knew how to trust in a team and bind them together. He knew how much emotion and trust to show and he showed it to them without any barriers which had been proof enough of the faith he put in them. 

Tony had rocked Steve back and forth, Steve's bloodied fingers running on his skin and holding him closer. Clint had taken one glance at them and cleared their way to the jet. Tony had people to look out for and people to help him do it.

The thought of protecting them didn't seem as overwhelming as it did months ago. He felt assured that he wasn't the only doing his best to keep them safe. He felt it every time when they sat huddled together on some nights discussing about it and how they listened to him patiently when he told them that threat from space wasn't the end.

The last thing he ever thought he'll tell them was blurted out on one of these nights. It was hard for all of them to accept the Iron Legion even if they understood why he was doing it. It was hardest for Pepper who took a day before talking to him again. 

She had confessed that despite whatever is brewing up there in space, she hoped this Iron Legion in wrong hands won't destroy the world that Tony wanted to protect. That was probably how the Iron Legion took a backseat in Tony's program. They were available but not active until multiple affirmations. 

_ 'Build a suit of armour around the world' _ , he told Steve someday when he was fixing the only weak points available in the Tower. The Captain had been silent for a long time before he nudged Tony replying back softly than he ever had  _ 'We will',  _ he had said.  _ 'Slowly. Because every time I've seen people try to win a war before it started. People lost their lives. We just have to make sure together that it doesn't happen ever.' _

_ 'If I do make something like that, it will always have a kill switch. Always. More than hundreds. In everyone's access. You have to trust me.',  _ Tony had pleaded with glassy eyes. And Steve had looked right into them before saying an  _ 'I do.' _

He didn't feel the need to hide most of his thoughts anymore like he had all his life. It was hard to understand that. 

It had been a shock when he realised it for the first time. He had casually mentioned to Bruce about the multiple apartments he had in Brooklyn that he considered offering to Bucky and Pepper when their kid grew older and would have an option to be in less limelight unlike Tony had gotten. He had also casually told Bruce that he hated that it would mean Tony would not have them as close as he had at all times. 

Bruce had just assured him that the Iron Man suit can be used for personal reasons like sneaking off to see people. Bruce had also promised to help him work out better stealth for the suit. Tony felt uncomfortably comfortable as he had realised what he was doing.

He remembered the happiness when Bucky cried seeing Pepper's bump for the first time and screaming about it all over the place. Also the happiness they had felt when they had finished up Bucky's case even if they decided for HYDRA to crumble before letting it be more official because Bucky felt paranoid knowing it was there with potential to harm his people.

There were tough times with all of them. A good part of them had gone through war and the rest of them had blood on their hands in some way or the other. There were days for everyone but there were always people at the end of that day who made it worth it.

When Tony had his, he hid in his workshop until he felt convinced enough that he could face someone. That was exactly what Tony had been doing for the past six hours, hoping that this would pass just like any other.

They were waiting for the last date of Bucky's hearing which would also be the first public one. Three weeks from that day, it said. Tony had let JARVIS deliver the news to everyone. He, himself, was feeling knocked off the equilibrium and probably others were too.

He felt scratchy inside his head, like metal screeching against metal made him feel sometimes. There was a bounce to his legs that he didn't realise as his fingers rapidly played along, the hyperactivity rushing through his veins.

He felt lost, like he didn't know what to do and for once, instead of staying in locked up, he decided that it was better to find someone before he drifted in half-conscious states. 

His feet took him to Bruce's lab before he realised. Just as he was about to knock on the glass, JARVIS interrupted, "Dr. Banner is not in his lab as of present, sir. He has gone with Agent Romanoff for the last drive retrieval since this morning."

Tony scowled, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You muted me approximately four hours ago, sir.", JARVIS said in a monotone. Tony just sighed, rather opting for going to the common floor and finding Steve to make him some of his enchanted hot chocolate. 

Feeling a little dizzy, he wandered into the living room on the common floor to find Steve on the couch writing something from the holographic display in front of him. Tony sucked in a breath and plopped down beside him just as Steve looked up and gave him a warm smile with those shining earnest blue eyes all focused on Tony.

That was exactly when he heard Pepper shouting, "You can't live like this." It was followed by Bucky's voice, countering back in the same tone, "Let's be real, Pep. How long do you think we have before this all falls down? Do you seriously believe that it is going to fucking end up in sunshine and daisies?"

Tony's body was still, rooted in his spot. From what he could feel, he knew that Steve was trying his level best not to move or react. They both didn't react until Tony's body drooped into Steve's, his face hidden as he smushed his face on the couch behind Steve. This felt like the fight back in 2011, when they had both been gone.

He could hear the voices nearing as Pepper and Bucky went back and forth in anger and despair. 

"The farthest I had gone was barely thirty floors below. No one saw my condition and definitely no one from some evil organisation.", Pepper justified as she stomped into the living room, not noticing either Steve or the curled up Tony.

"All I'm saying is that I didn't know where you were. The last thing I want to do is put restrictions on you. This time it isn't me being paranoid, this is me being scared because I couldn't find you, sweetheart. Even JARV didn't tell me anything.", Bucky followed her, hot on his heels waving his hands in frustration. 

"Let me get this clear. No one knows we're together as much as I hate it. I've been keeping it to me for years. Even if someone does see that I'm pregnant, there is absolutely no chance that someone will link it. They will not get their hands on our possibly super-soldier child because they don't even know it exists.", Pepper's voice grew louder in anger, her voice resonating a harsh memory in Tony's head as he pressed closer to Steve's arm around his waist.

Bucky had taken a step back already, eyes blown wide as he breathed heavily. There was a second full of gut-wrenching pain on his face before it went blank. He calmly walked forward and kissed her forehead, "I need to take a walk." With that, he stepped back and took off towards the elevator.

"Why?", Pepper cried, almost in tears. But Bucky didn't look back while he responded, "We both are clearly hurting. I don't want to do anything that can hurt you." Pepper called again, "Don't run away. We both know that you'll never hurt me."

Bucky gave her a deprecating smile just as the elevator doors were about to close, "You've been hurting from the start." Tony's shaky breath grew more in pain as he raised his head up, closing his eyes now and pressing his face into Steve's unmoving shoulder, muffling it. He couldn't care anymore about the wet patch. 

He peeked at Pepper who was standing against the wall staring horrifyingly at him. This felt like a horrible deja vu. She took a gulp before she was the second person who walked out of there. 

Just a second later, Tony was away from Steve's warm ever-welcoming arms and off the couch, not looking back as he raced back to his workshop. There was that dizzying pain hitting him everywhere as he summoned the suit and took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have no idea what state of mind I was in when I wrote this chapter.
> 
> I guess I wanted to not let go of the fact that yes, people who are depressed or have PTSD can be happy even if it feels like it can slip sooner than they can blink. 
> 
> Maybe I wanted them to fall so many times on their way to recovery. 
> 
> There's this compatibility because of which people stay with each other. No matter how much you love each other, if you can't fit into each others lives or atleast try to, it gets tiring at one point to be together. People often ignore this fact and rush headfirst into relationships. 
> 
> I wanted to make sure that they didn't. That they take their time to fit in together like pieces of puzzles even if the ends take longer to fit, that they consider the fact that loving and living together comes with responsibility.
> 
> Also yes, Steve and Tony know they like each other and yet they won't take a step now because it isn't their right time yet. 
> 
> I can't, for the life of me, bear to romanticise mental health. There's more to life than romance. But there's not much in life if you can't bear to live in your own head. 
> 
> They are superheroes, they won't ever reach a point where everything will be stable. But they can reach a point where they are better versions of themselves because they want to be, not because they have to be there for someone. That's when they will know how to click together in place beside each other.


	6. Here for you even if the sky falls down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so entangled in writing some one shots (which turned out to be a series of shots) that I kept delaying this.

Steve stood at the entrance of the dark room, watching the lights from the TV play a beautiful dance of colours that glinted off the shiny surfaces and the unmoving redhead sitting on the couch. 

It didn't take him long to find Pepper. 

He paced inside with small knowing steps as he sat at the far end of the couch, facing her. He clearly didn't want her to justify anything, he just wanted her to know that he was here. That if she wanted to talk, he will be right there in an arm's reach.

Pepper opened her eyes, her head lolling sideways on the headrest as she blinked blearily at him. 

She had never imagined that there would come a point in time that Steve Rogers would be one of the closest people she would have. One who was sitting across her and not in an expectant way. That was probably what provoked her to speak whatever came to her mind. So she did.

"I met him when he didn't even know who he was. Tony didn't expose him to anyone until 2009. James was recovering but he wasn't entirely in control. I've known the longest because I was the first person Tony talked to about the Winter Soldier.", she took a firm breath, remembering everything chronologically just before her feelings had started getting involved.

Pepper turned to look at Steve, in doubt that he'd want to know something. Anything. But Steve just toyed with the tip of Clint's arrow that was lying on the table, hanging onto her every word. 

"At one point, I was kinda done with Tony trying to protect me from someone when we basically lived in the same damn tower. If James wanted to find me, he would.", Pepper's word seemed more like a reflection to Steve.  _ People trying to protect him by omitting truths. _

Steve knew this wasn't about him even if he wanted to reach out to Pepper and tell her that he understands. He just let her get most of it off her conscience.

"That day I accidentally ended up in Tony's workshop to force him to sign another bunch of documents and I had absolutely no idea James was there. When I did realise, he also probably assumed that I wasn't afraid of him."

She shakenly looked straight into Steve's iced eyes, "I was. Completely terrified."

A smile took the place where her frown had been, "But all he did was convince Tony for me until Tony agreed to sign the papers. That pretty much made him seem like an angel, one sent to help me coerce Tony into doing his work."

Steve laughed along, realising exactly how hard that was. His smile stayed plastered on his face as he added in, "And then he looked at your braid and casually told you it was pretty. Seriously Pep, what is it with people associating you with your hair? I mean it is beautiful, but Peggy too?"

Pepper butted in with an incredulous chuckle, "I know, right? I don't know whether I should thank them or remind them that it's rude."

Steve continued chortling as he dropped Clint's arrow on the table, leaning forward to listen to Pepper. Her eyes softened at the sight of him being invested in her vents. Sighing, she raised her head to continue, now in excitement rather than getting something off her chest.

"Can you imagine? I expected him to get angry or scared or wary that I had barged in on a heavily PTSD affected assassin who could kill you under a second. But he wasn't.", Pepper kept going animatedly.

"In the beginning, he felt like a wave of muted greys. Like pointless wandering but not of the good kind, like really terribly lost and yet no desire to go back."

The way she said it felt right, like exactly the way Steve is used to portraying emotion. A splash of colours. Her vision of seeing Bucky in muted grays back then was probably the only thing that made sense. 

He hadn't noticed the sour expression on Pepper's face as she progressed.

"I took it the wrong way back then, I didn't respond to anything he said. Now? I know Bucky well enough to know that it was just admirance and him trying to stretch a hand of friendship. He's beautiful at heart that way.", Pepper sighed dreamily in love, yet a hint of pain in the way she held Steve's eyes pensively.

"My stupid self took an entire month to realise that this man was genuine. That it wasn't just some ploy or some sleeper cell or someone who would attach unhealthily to Tony. I didn't think I could behave that bad with someone. I did and I will probably hate that part of me for my entire life." Her eyes felt cloudy with that hint of regret intensifying into silent rage.

"I was neck deep in guilt when I randomly offered to make a braid for him. He just stared at me unbelievably and happily agreed, acting like he was lucky to have any sort of interaction with me. That probably made it a lot more awful.", Pepper continued with a sigh, slumping backwards as her voice grew a lot like how Bucky sounded when he talked about her. 

"It became your thing.", Steve said in realisation, grinning at her responding lovesick emotion. 

Pepper nodded and repeated, "It became our thing. I do it for him so many times that it's basically muscle memory by now. He takes a weird amount of comfort in it. That and animated movies."

The golden lights turned a little more dimmer but they could care less. Seeing Steve's puzzled face, Pepper giggled lightly, "Did you think he was giving you a movie marathon?"

Steve stumbled right into that one, "I mean-" His hands doing a fair representation of a flailing fish.

"It was more like you giving him company for binge watching all his favourites. Was Tony there with you both sometimes?, Pepper motioned for him to sit closer, in the massive empty space between them.

Steve nodded as he flopped on the couch nearer to her than before, folding his legs up. She grinned and threw him a pillow, "Was he there for Lilo and Stitch?" 

Steve propped himself up on the pillow, relaxing as he added in with a happy sigh, "I witnessed a very adorable synchronization of dialogues from the film as they grinned their faces off. It was that one  _ 'Ohana means family.'  _ "

Pepper continued smiling softly at him as she interrupted, _ 'Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.' _ Steve enthusiastically agreed to it, hoping she'd tell him why.

She pushed her feet in his lap as she laid down a bit, "They became fast friends. Me and Rhodey were really worried that something was wrong. It was Rhodey who caught them doing this, they say it no matter what. We don't exactly know what happened but its significant to them."

Steve couldn't help but imagine it as he felt a flood of blinding adorance fill in himself, "Were all of you fast friends?"

"Oh, no", Pepper shook her head, fiddling with the remote and shutting the TV off as dimmed golden lights that Steve has grown to love silently flooded the room undisturbed without any play of colours from the TV.

"Tony and James were. James Barnes and James Rhodes were. But me? He'd just be in my presence even if he would barely interact with me. I thought it was because of the way I acted, but it wasn't just that."

Steve slightly came to a stop from his unconscious rocking back and forth, "He was afraid."

Pepper continued, her eyes misty with memory, "He was. He didn't actually talk much until about two hours after we were on a date on the roof. Then he exploded. Oh my god, that man and his stories! I love them both so much. I was so goddamn relieved though."

The cogs in Steve's brain kept whirring, "How did you start dating him? How did you know despite the beginning" 

She grew silent before she took a trembling breath, "I didn't. It was a leap of faith. I knew that he had feelings for me. He showed it every day as he did small things for me with this look on his face that made me want to kiss him with my everything."

_Courting,_ Steve's 1940s part of him suggested.

Steve felt warmth and a spark of familiarity with that feeling for a brown-eyed  _ larger-than-life _ brunet. He continued rubbing little circles on her foot as he spoke "You are. Giving him everything? In a way. Protecting him from things. Wrapping him up in your arms and making sure he knows that he is loved."

Pepper's foot nudged Steve's hand and he looked up at her to see her smiling gratefully at him. He knew how much this meant for her. 

"The day I kissed him was the day he was getting the new arm attached. The one Tony had made. He was so happy. He felt like warm and cold colour spectra instead of those muted greys. Like those delicate prisms. I couldn't hold it in. He was just so beyond beautiful and looked like everything one could ever want.", her eyes had closed and her body had fallen loose as she continued twiddling her fingers.

Bucky's voice suddenly filled in as he leaned out of the dark corners, "I was happier. After that. After you kissed me. It was me who was getting everything I wanted through you."

Neither of them were surprised. They had gotten pretty used to him being like this. He was standing against the wall at the entrance where Steve had been standing some time ago, his eyes trained on the lax feelings of the woman he loved. 

Steve wanted to move away, to not interrupt but Pepper's heels dug in his hands and he decided to stay. He continued his little circles while he tried soothing her.

It came to him as a surprise when Pepper's eyes opened and they were hardened but wet, "Back in 2011, there was a fight. Very similar to this. None of us were at fault, it was actually a very loud pointless fight. Like today, we hadn't noticed Tony was there in the room. So when James walked out, I did too. I went back to Malibu for a week and James disappeared.",

She still kept going, refusing to acknowledge Bucky's presence, "We left Tony alone and I think it probably affected him a whole lot more than we expected, if him fleeing today was a sign. I came back after a day or two but fuck, Tony was so down at that point. Spilling hurtful words even if he saw us close. I hadn't realised the extent of damage we did when we walked out and didn't return soon, leaving him and his head alone."

Steve opened his mouth to retort but Pepper didn't take it, "I know. I know that Tony's attachment issues being dependent on our relationship at that point is unhealthy. But at that time, we were all he had. And him seeing people walking away from him who won't come back? There surely weren't less of them."

She pressed her scrunched up face on the couch like Tony had, "We did it again today. It's like we don't learn."

Steve's eyes trailed back to Bucky as he watched a horrific emotion spread on his face. Steve didn't know if it was because of Pepper not acknowledging Bucky's presence or just memories from their old fight. So with a painful twist of lips, Bucky wandered in. 

He threw Steve a promising grateful smile before turning to Pepper but Pep's sharp voice interrupted again. "No. Stay there." 

Bucky stilled metres away from them as Pepper got up, heavily leaning on Steve, "I admit that everyone has been stressed, waiting for something to go wrong and our entire progress in your case to go to hell just before the hearing."

Bucky opened his mouth to reason, but she continued in a low whisper which was a rather large contrast, "I was wrong today."

Both the supersoldiers' heads snapped back to her face but she remained passive, "When that haze of anger passed away, I realised how wrong I was. But what is more hurtful is that you refuse to fight back even if I'm being unjustified."

She shuffled up and Steve helped her stand up. She held his hand tighter, not letting go, "Why do I get the feeling that you think I'm doing you a favour by being in this relationship? That I am here in spite of everything that you've gone through."

She spat out  _ 'in spite' _ with hatred like it felt unbelievable. Bucky, on the other hand, was standing there in confused realisation as he stumbled a bit back and sat down.

A chill of uneasiness crackled under Steve's skin, like spiders crawling down his spine He turned towards Pepper decisively, "He was doing it subconsciously, wasn't he?"

She just nodded, her eyes stuck on the man in front of them who was going through a series of realisations. She mumbled under her breath, knowing that Steve could hear, "God, I don't let people walk all over me or things I love. It's actually fucking hard to know what to do when it's the man I love beyond everything hurting himself without even knowing."

Her eyes flitted back to Steve in a passing desire to ask for help, but Steve just leaned in and pressed a kiss on her forehead, "I can't solve your problems for you, Pep. I can just be here for you, okay?"

She leaned into him one last time, before she pulled away completely. She trudged over and knelt down in front of a dazed Bucky on the couch, "I'm sorry. But the next time you start doing that, I'll throw that disgusting red showpiece in our room on you."

Bucky broke into a harsh chuckle, letting his hands fall back down, "I thought you liked it."

She gave a wounded noise as the air around them lightened, "It looks disgusting, okay? Absolutely horrifying."

Bucky's smile slipped back into its place as his hands rose to gently caress her cheekbone, the pads of his fingers remembering the creases of her smile. His attention back to being entirely focused on her rather than the fact that he was about to slip into a hazy painful state.

Steve kind of understood now. The depth of the anchor people were for each other no matter how many thunders rock through their lives. No one should rely on others to cure them, but taking comfort in other's presence is a helpful path.

"I was hurting from the beginning, you know. You weren't wrong.", Pepper shakily said as she stared in Bucky's eyes. "What you were wrong about was thinking I was hurting because of you."

Bucky broke the eye contact, looking down at the soft rug. His metal hand tightened into a fist as he swayed slightly.

She raised her hand, keeping his hand firmly locked on her cheek as he leaned towards her, "I was hurting for you. The things you have faced have given me nightmares. I hate them for it."

Bucky took a large breath of relief but Pepper didn't stop, "I'm personally not busting HYDRA's ass because I'd rather our munchkin be safe. I hate myself that I'm happy I have you despite how they cruelly peeled into you layer by layer for decades until you couldn't even remember your name."

Steve slid away, clearly sensing that it was well beyond his time to stay. They'd be okay at one point, he convinced himself, but he needed some space to breath.

Then his mind went back to Tony and to the fact that none of the Avengers had returned yet. It was unusually late. He knew they could take care of themselves but a part of him kept overthinking. So he slipped his phone out to get any sort of word on them. 

There was an unread text from Clint, ' _ he's safe. we might not return tonight.'  _ It felt good to get that reassurance but Steve still couldn't stop that itch inside his head. 

He dialled back to Clint and the archer picked up in some delayed seconds, grumbling, "I swear to God, Steve. It's like you hate me. I lost, goddamnit."

Steve's mind shook in alarm before he heard a familiar soft giggle of the genius in the background. There were some very brief pillow smacks as Clint shouted again, "I want a fucking rematch, bro."

Then there was a series of animated sounds which felt very familiar to Mario Kart and so Steve stayed quiet, not disturbing Clint or Tony. He took his time, however, in reheating the lasagna for dinner.

Then came Tony's chance. "You fucking bitch. You did not just do that. I absolutely hate you. Get off of me and give me Steve." Steve could count on two hands the amount of times the phone had fallen down in their fight.

He chuckled in mirth as Tony's slightly breathy voice came back, "Hey, Steve." 

Steve mockingly reprimanded, "Language." Then he heard Clint guffawing again, "That's your third, Tony. Still got four more of Cap's 'language' before you even come close to Natasha's range."

There was a thud and a following 'ow' before Tony threatened Clint to stop listening in. He probably walked away from Clint because the noises from the game faded to the background.

"Where are you?", Steve asked hesitantly, hoping that he did not just spoil Tony's mood again. 

"Remember those back-up apartments in Brooklyn. This one had Mario Kart so I picked Clint from SHIELD to give me company. I think Nat and Bruce will be here too.", Tony replied without a hint of tremble that had been there just hours ago.

Steve didn't need Tony to say more as he jokingly replied back, "That's good. Me though? I was actually busy in cathartic talks here. Relationships are hard, Christ. I'm still afraid that if I go back out, they will be disgustingly  _ couple-y  _ and I will absolutely lose my strung-by-a-thread sanity at their mood swings."

Tony continued his barely-stifled giggling but he sobered up pretty quick, "I think I was just a bit on edge and I needed to spend time with someone other than my head. It just momentarily worsened because the fight gave me a bit of deja vu."

"2011? I know.", Steve whispered with a forced neutral voice. Tony gave a muffled noise of confirmation before his distracted voice whispered, "Something feels wrong, Steve."

Steve accidentally touched the hot food and hissed at the burn. He absentmindedly continued the conversation, "What do you mean? Are you okay?"

"Remember the comms I improved yesterday. I never got your feedback on them, Romeo.", Tony's voice continued in a barely noticeable stiffness. 

Steve's attention snapped back to their conversation, "The comms were in for upgrades last month, Tony." The out of place  _ Romeo  _ was kind of what clicked Steve's brain.

Steve got a cube of ice for the finger as he sharply continued getting a serving of the lasagna out with forced casualty, "Someone is listening in and it can't be our phones, someone is physically there."

Tony just laughed unnaturally with a hum, "Nat and Bruce are here, I think. I can hear their voices besides the Mario Kart and Clint's girly shrieks."

Steve skid to a stop, "Do you want me to do anything? Tell anyone? Get there?" His brain clouded in worry despite knowing Tony had his suit and there were two skilled agents with him. Add on a Hulk, no one would willingly want to fight this. 

Tony tsked in a mocking high tone to cover whatever he was doing as Steve could hear some shuffling, "None of that, Steve. I'll talk to you later." 

Steve huffed out in frustration, "Okay. Please get JARVIS to alert us if necessary. I know you can handle it on your own but for my peace of mind, please do it."

Tony gave a disapproving hum but a muffled  _ 'okay'  _ as the call disconnected. Steve stared at his phone for a second more before he slipped it back inside his pocket and walked to the living room with the plate in steady strides.

Bucky and Pepper were silently watching the TV, their shoulders touching and what seemed like comfortable silence rather than tense atmosphere.

Steve set the plate in front of Pepper and gave her a glare to suppress any upcoming protests, "I'm all for enforcing  _ 'no dinner in front of TV' _ but if you don't finish that in the next five minutes sitting there, it's gonna be bad."

Pepper gave a childish frown for a second before picking up the plate and silently eating her dinner. 

Steve almost knew her prenatal diets and schedules just by observing and reading the books he accidentally found when he helped her. He also knew that she hadn't eaten anything substantial in the past few hours.

Now looking closely though, Steve could see that Bucky was asleep leaning slightly on her. He wasn't exactly relaxed or tense, somewhere in the middle. 

Steve sat on the other couch silently, gazing absently at the TV as his worry grew stronger. He had no idea how much time had passed by before Pepper's nudge brought him back.

He sighed when their eyes met, still adamant on not putting her through stress but his conscience still fought to just blab about his phone conversation to her. She tugged a few messy overgrown wisps of his hair to get his attention back. 

Steve, despite his worry, was confused whether he should glare at her or just soak in this innocent warmth she sometimes gave. 

It was surprisingly similar to Tony. People rarely use  _ innocent _ for the billionaire but Christ, Steve does see it. And if only that just makes the genius seem more beautiful. 

Sure, the world is cryptic and cynical. It expects some motive behind most good that is done. But Tony doesn't have that. He is genuinely happy to give and has always believed that he's got more than enough to do that. Be his house or some fund or just love and support.

Tony and Pepper felt a bit similar in that aspect. People would say that they were pretty similar in everything at first glance but they were as different and connected as day and night.

Steve's eyes fluttered shut in slight fatigue. He utterly refused from being a part of the couple's puppy pile but he sat there in their company for a while longer.

A hiss of air and series of hard bangs shot him straight up from the couch. His voice didn't waver while he commenced an immediate lockdown with his codes but his head throbbed in fear. He dreaded this since that phone call.

"Protocol Tango-Whiskey-Sierra initiated.", JARVIS filled in as the lights shone back bright into the room. A holographic display from the ceiling playing a flow of commands being performed.

"Update, JARVIS?", Pepper's composed voice resonated besides Steve as she expanded another set of routes to connect to Tony. Bucky was awake, standing besides her in a knowing stance. His body taut on guard and his metal fingers flexing in inspection.

"The Alpha Dispatch has been launched under Protocol, Ms. Potts. Sir initiated the sequence 26 seconds ago from approximately 7 miles from here.", The multicoloured dots popped out on a map and a red dot was moving away at an increasing pace. 

The yellow dot which Steve assumed was what had dispatched was moving towards the red dot with high speed. It was in stealth mode at high altitude, bound to go unnoticed by anyone else. 

"The signal range was closer to the Brooklyn Bridge but sir seems to be in motion.", the AI continued as Bucky nudged Pepper aside, seemingly understanding now what everything is about. He frantically scanned the red dot, "J, hostile party is the last Winter, huh?"

"Affirmative, Sergeant Barnes.", JARVIS responded back immediately. 

A high string of curses left Bucky's mouth as Pepper went back to sit on the couch. Steve made a frustrated noise just as Tony breathily patched through, "Bucky, if you even think of setting your foot out of that tower, I'll drop you from the fucking roof."

Steve stilled, not used to joking about Bucky falling so casually. God, he still had a big mess in his head to solve which wasn't his priority at the moment.

"He won't.", Natasha's comms connected too.

Steve ran towards the staircase to get to the roof as JARVIS continued reporting, "The rest of the trackers are concentrated near the bridge which either indicates all of the phones being dumped there or probably sir is alone in his pursuit."

Picking up his shield from their storage space, he connected to Nat hearing her low grunts, "Not a good time. Tony, take this."

There was a loud blast and some gunshots which confirmed Natasha was with Tony. 

"Get the jet here, Steve.", Bruce's panicked voice suddenly filtered in as Steve clasped one last buckle in place, sprinting towards the jet which was already prepped. A little roomba robot zoomed out just as Steve walked in. 

"The system's checked and armed.", Tony supplied in as Steve gently initiated all the systems taking control, taking off in haste.

•••

Natasha wiped the drop of blood that trickled from the corner of her mouth as she landed her last kick to the Soldat's hip, her boots pinning her firmly in place. 

The armour package that JARVIS had dispatched landed beside her, quickly dismantling and wrapping the soldier into an unbreakable hold. Tony had made this one when they were capturing the second Winter Soldier, tested all through for containment.

Tony shot another round of tranqs at the bleeding unconscious woman for certainty. The faceplate snapped up and he made a beeline towards Natasha.

"You okay, Tasha?", he hurriedly asked as he checked the strength of the holds one last time. Natasha gave a curt nod just as the jet landed besides them. 

Steve briskly strode out a second later with his shield on his back, demanding a  _ 'stats' _ as he and Tony tugged the soldier into the jet, clasping her into a back-up shackle.

"Barton got shot because he sensed the soldier just a moment before she shot Bruce. She was probably hoping that Hulk might disturb the chase but thank every God for Barton's hawk-sense. We need to fly half a mile south. Bring the jet, I'm flying Nat there.", Tony summed up in a single breath, sending Steve running back to the jet. 

The super-soldier probably pieced together that the jet was called less for locking up the last Winter Soldier and more for the emergency medical supplies. 

Nat held onto Tony as the shot into the sky, speeding towards Clint and landing barely five seconds later. 

The speed Tony used sometimes made her dizzy but she loved him for understanding her immediate need to make sure Clint was safe. She had one Lila Barton to answer to, if not and no one needed to know the deal except her and her small Widow. 

She felt a harsh knot in her throat realising she couldn't tell Tony that until Clint expressively permitted her or Bucky to reveal it or did it himself. She was tired of keeping everyone out of the loop and she was afraid if Steve took this one again as a bad hit like the Howard thing. Or worse, Tony did.

Bruce was sitting besides Clint, applying a steady pressure to the through-and-through gunshot wound, tilting his head close in concentration as his glasses tilted downwards. Sometimes, she could kiss this man impulsively for every little thing. And for saving Clint. But that's beyond the point. 

She knelt next to him, gently removing Bruce's bloodstained hands and replacing it with her's. Bruce gave her a soft grateful smile, breathing very hard and she wondered if he'd need her lullaby again, seeing the green tinge in his eyes. 

There was a commotion and in the following minutes, as blurred as they went but Natasha wouldn't admit that, they somehow were in the jet on their way back to the tower. She was still tucked beside Bruce's calming self, taking comfort by holding Clint's warm hand in her bloodied ones. 

Tony had tried talking to her once but she remained unresponsive so he just brushed her hair away from her face, producing a scrunchie out of nowhere to tie them up. 

He then wandered over to Steve, hitching a hand around the supersoldier's waist as Tony tugged Steve towards the control panels. That man was a blessing and Nat wished she knew a way to make him understand that.

Steve was as bad as her, entirely focused and not feeling a thing until he had to. She admired him for that, the strong-headed leader. She worried for him too, the drive to do the necessary and the burden of that decision was bigger in him. 

But as she held Clint's hand, the only family she had before, there was this hard realisation that these people have been more for her than just some friends. 

She hadn't expected to have a family, her training had initially forbade her so and later the red in her ledger did. Now, she had this and she was clueless about how she could keep it for as long as she could. 

If she wanted to wrap them all in her arms for once in her life to thank them or just protect them, it was the Widow's business and she did it undoubtedly good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of satisfaction I felt while writing the least of that action sequence just confirmed that I'll be writing a whole lot more fights.
> 
> Also I was a sucker for Steve-Pepper bonding.


	7. One of ours as we're yours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is very hard for me to imagine forgiving someone who lied about other man's death when one of your loved ones lives with taking entire responsibility for that in their head for months. 
> 
> That being said, I cannot for the life of me brush off Fury lying about Coulson. Or even if he did for some greater good, not revealing it later to the people who avenged his 'death' doesn't seem easily forgivable to me.
> 
> So yes, when I say that when I wrote this chapter, I fully intended for them to be this angry at Mr. Eyepatch or even despise him. It's not wrong because they're still recovering and it's been half a year. A war is not something one recovers from easily. I am trying my level best to keep that angst to a minimum.
> 
> Also, I am not stupid enough to think that a powerful woman like Pepper will mind her own business when the world rushes to chaos. Especially when it's her family at stake. She's a mama bear.

Bucky plopped down on the couch besides Natasha, folding his legs upwards. Her head was lolled sideways on the headrest but Bucky knew that she wasn't asleep. Her body kept burrowing a little in the couch which made it obvious enough that she couldn't find a comfortable angle.

Sighing lowly, he broke the big chocolate chip cookie he had brought along with him in half, praying that the crumbs wouldn't fall down, and poked Tasha on her fidgety arm to offer her one.

She opened her pale green eyes to glare at him, swatting his hand away before she realised what he was doing. Her frame softened and she relaxed a bit, making it obvious enough that there was a lot on her mind. Her hand plucked the half of the cookie from Bucky's hand and her head tilted in a silent  _ thanks. _

They munched along in sync, taking comfort in the company and Bucky almost hated to break it. "You do know that they know about the rest, don't ya?", he nodded his head towards Steve who was sitting near the windows in his space. 

Steve's gaze was languidly roaming, looking out of the window as his fingers continued drawing something in a slow pace on the piece of paper he had grabbed out of nowhere.

Bucky then looked at a sleeping Tony who was halfway lying on the loveseat, curled up within himself. 

A particular sharp hiss caught his attention as he turned back to Natasha. Her face was blank but her minimally widened eyes displayed the same spark of fear that Bucky had felt as he put the pieces together.

Natasha and Bucky were the only ones who had known about Clint's family. They were also the only ones who had been hiding this, something they weren't actively a part of. Clint had reasons and sure, none of Tasha or Bucky would break Clint's confidence in them but that didn't mean it wasn't hard to hide it.

Natasha cursed colourfully under her breath, her relaxed stature completely disappearing as if it was never there, before she glanced towards Bucky, "How'd you know?" 

Bucky's eyes went back to Tony again as he whispered, "He asked me how long I've known. Steve was just behind him and trust me, I know what a hurt Steve who's trying to act tough looks like. I think they probably talked about it in the jet."

He was afraid, a big part of his brain was clouded on the possibilities that this can be the start of the trust, they had taken so long to develop chipping off day by day. He hated himself for doubting others but nobody ever said that fear was rational.

He turned to Natasha to lull down her anxiety but her attention was all on Bruce who was making his way out of the kitchen with a sombre undertone to him. Somehow a second later with a blur of movement, Nat was in front of him, blocking his way before gently asking something to which Bruce exhaled long and tired.

Bucky tore his eyes away from them and tried settling down his head again. There was this mind-numbing feeling just prancing under his skin, a jittery premonition or maybe just his anxiety visiting him again.

"I can almost hear you thinking, jerk.", the familiar voice soothed Bucky and made him weary of having a confrontation at the same time. Steve was leaning on the back of the loveseat in which Tony was tossing and turning as if he was seconds away from waking up.

"The super-soldier thing doesn't make you that good, Stevie.", Bucky sassed back in a low voice, hoping that Tony would stay asleep. He was less worried about the genius being angry over him and more about Tones crashing on himself.. He ran himself rugged already at this rate and the last thing Bucky wanted was contributing to his fatigue. 

His wishes, however, were not answered as Tony blinked awake and stretched like a kitten with little whines at the bright light of the noon, curling in more.

It wasn't like Bucky wasn't used to this but somehow it still made him weak, made him want to tuck Antoshka somewhere safe like a child even though it was the same billionaire who could cut people with words faster than Bucky could breath. 

What Bucky wasn't used to was witnessing Steve look at someone like that. The blond's eyes didn't leave Tony's scrunched up face as he snuggled deeper on the couch to find his comfortable spot before giving up and opening his eyes. It was like a sappy movie; looking at them stare into each other's eyes with those stupidly smitten smiles. 

Sure, Bucky had seen Steve enamoured in love with Peggy which still felt like eons ago. The admiration couldn't drip more directly from Steve's face when he used to look at her. 

But somehow between the ice and the years that flew in between, they both had changed. They were different. The way they saw the world had been knocked a level too close to harsh realism. They had experienced acknowledging their death at a point in their life so it wasn't actually a surprise that they changed.

Bucky didn't know that this would fill him with all sorts of warmth, the knowledge that he can still read Steve a little better, that he can still see Steve hesitate to fall for someone yet going for it. 

His heart thudded more seeing Tony's adoration colour up Steve, reflecting the tenderness with the same fervour. The flush on Steve was not a surprise but the light dusting of red on Tony's cheeks did feel new.

But being the ass Bucky was, he cleared his throat loud and met Tasha's fond head shake at all the doofuses filled in the room. She dragged Bruce with her to sit on the couch back in her place and the other man perched beside her in half-hidden glee.

That much time was probably enough for the blushing idiots who were now seated besides each other at the extreme ends of the loveseat. Bucky and Natasha chuckled fondly but Bruce shook his head at all of them with an endearing smile. ' _ Pack puppy who is the maturest puppy', never had words any truer escaped Bucky's mouth. _

It was as if Bucky was waiting for the happiness to pass and the tension to take its place. It was almost noon, quite some time had passed while they waited for Coulson and his merry band of faithful agents to get back from DC to gather the last Winter Soldier who had scratched every surface of the Hulk's containment zone on Bruce's floor.

They had all taken turns with morphine-high Clint but the archer had all but whined and screamed at them to get out. That was all he could do before Pepper sent him a glare so hard that Clint shivered and shut up. She sent them all out claiming she had work and that she could do it while babysitting Clint. 

None of them wanted to leave but the second Nat kissed Pep's cheek in gratefulness and strolled away to her floor, they all agreed. Seeing Clint like this was hard for Nat and it was getting more evident every second.

Bucky didn't pretend to not notice that Steve had pulled Bruce along with Tony towards the living room. Even if Bucky came here hours later, he could sense a terseness in the way they had been all metres apart from each other. Steve near the windows, Tony on the loveseat and Bruce in the kitchen. It couldn't have screamed discomfort more. 

Then there was Natasha who was oblivious for once in this world as she lightly dozed off her tiredness on the couch. She was a whole lot more drained than she appeared if she hadn't caught onto the facts like Bucky did.

"I can't take it anymore. You can't tell me that it's my fault that I stayed silent over what people tell me in confidence. Clint didn't know about Bucky until Chitauri yet he understands why I never told him about it.", Natasha's voice was hard and harsh over everyone, breaking Bucky's thinking trivia. 

They weren't stupid to think she was trying to be that way, harsh that is. They kind of knew she was preparing herself for handling any kind of bad reaction's momentum so she was not hit unaware. She was good with that.

Bucky readied himself for the same but Tony scoffed, "Do you think anyone is angry over anyone for that?" He shuffled backwards with bated breath as he waited for Tasha to answer. 

Bucky did though, "Shouldn't you be?" The discomfort due to all their eyes on him, spiked up to a concerning amount as he felt suffocated. Steve's sharp voice surely didn't help, "Would you have? Be angry if you weren't in on this situation and came to know about it later from others."

Neither of them answered as Natasha looked away and lost her taut posture. Like Bucky, she kept looking at all three of them, waiting for someone to clue them in on anything.  _ Something.  _ Waiting because if the hit had to come, they'd rather take it now.

It was Bruce who went first and that wasn't surprising. What was surprising was that instead of looking at any of them, his attention was focused on the centre of the coffee table as if he wasn't sure who he was talking to.

"Tony knew because Clint told him yesterday while they were playing Mario Kart. Steve knew because Tony gave him a foreboding warning as Clint had instructed. Nat has been with Barton for years so it's not a surprise. Bucky is surprisingly good with sneaking so even him knowing because he overheard was not exactly quaking."

Bucky felt a sharp pang of guilt go through him. If this was what Bruce was reduced to, he didn't want to know what would have happened if Clint hadn't let them in on this sooner. 

Bruce's voice grew pained and thunderous at the same time as he turned to stare at Nat with urgency and insecurity on his face, "What? Did you expect me to do something worse than all of you combined? I am an unstable variable but I kinda wished you didn't throw it in my face this way."

For the first time in so long, Bucky could almost see Natasha's face contort in pain. She was facing Bruce so none of them actually knew what she was going through. All Bucky wanted was to nudge in and take responsibility for his other half of actions but he decided not to poke Nat's handling of this situation at her vulnerable state.

"That's the last thing I'll do, Bruce and you know it. It wasn't like I could do anything. It wasn't my call to take.", Tasha's hands gently took in Bruce's as the green that had pulsed out in him tantalisingly fast, receded. He looked like he wanted to pull his hand away and storm out but he stayed still, letting her be closer to him.

"Okay. I understand, I do. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less.", Steve's forced out words, tried clarifying as he hunched over himself, his face hidden in his hands.

Bucky didn't point out his observations when he saw Tony move towards Steve a little and settle his hand on Steve's bobbing jerky leg. Steve blearily turned to look at him and there was this silent conversation of Tony probably just calming him down to an extent.

Bucky didn't know when they had grown this close; probably after that bombing thing when Tony had held a broken clinging Steve for hours or the reconciliation after the fight over something named Ultron that Tony couldn't let go of as he reasoned that there was something up there, bigger than them all.

Tony softly talked to Steve, his hand tracing a consistent pattern under keen eyes as Steve tried listening to him. His face was nevertheless scrunched up in all kinds of despair and hope, trying so hard to get it all in. 

There was an understanding in Steve's voice as he spoke back that Bucky hadn't quite noticed. It spoke louder than the doubts any of them had, "Maybe I would do that too. If I had a family, I would protect them with my everything. It hurts knowing I'll have to stay away from them to keep them safe but I wouldn't doubt what I'd do for them in a heartbeat."

The blond kept gazing in Tony's eyes dazedly as if Tony knew the answers, "It's not that I blame Clint. It's that I hoped that I'd finally know what I'm doing, that I'd finally know what our strengths are and not just in the field. He didn't break my trust, I do trust him now too. I just wished sometimes that things won't be revealed to me the way they are."

Bruce sighed in agreement and none of them talked further, it felt pointless to justify anything anymore. It's not like they were pointing fingers at each other but Bucky sensed they'd have to give each other space. He couldn't be anymore relieved that this didn't go as far down the hill as they had expected.

Light padded footsteps made his head snap back upwards to see Pepper leaning lightly on her sides near the door as her eyes grazed on them all, sitting there in various stages of despondency. Her hair was up in a carelessly thrown bun with most of the wisps almost falling out and the weariness was evident on her face. 

The pang of guilt that had still been throbbing in the back of his head seared through Bucky again. Sometimes he wished he hadn't known about Clint's family before just so he wouldn't have to hide anything from her.

Not a day had passed since Bucky's self-doubts had let him loose enough and they had started dating when Bucky felt like she wouldn't stand with him through these curveballs. He had put a rather large amount of blinding faith unknowingly in her which had been difficult to even think about after HYDRA. Pepper had been a constant in his life that he always came back to, despite the hard setbacks he kept having.

When all Bucky had was Tony, he didn't let himself have that happiness in fear of losing it. When he had Rhodey too, he had given in to the urges to be normal when the Colonel had blatantly told him to stop living his life like he was on a breakable string or on borrowed time.

He had been so adamant that Pepper disliked him, that he was dragging her other friends down in some way  _ and Pep didn't let anyone drag her loved ones down. _ Even after they had become close friends, the feeling just wouldn't leave him. He could talk to Tony and Rhodey for hours but he resorted to just being quiet and relishing in her presence when she was around. 

But it's Pepper. She caught onto unsaid things so fast that sometimes even Bucky didn't know he had been doing it. He has always been grateful for that, the fact that she didn't always need words because she understood his need to be silent at times. 

She understood that maybe some days just kissing him once with her all and leaving him alone was the best she could do for him. On the other hand, she also knew when to not leave him alone, when he needed that physical contact to stay grounded to himself. 

In the beginning, Bucky had felt wrong when he expected her to understand what he was feeling every time. No matter how much people deny, they cannot always understand each other, they're not imposed to and expecting her to do that felt worse. 

But then she had just taken him aside and told him that she liked knowing that. Liked doing things for people even if words weren't needed and that Bucky wasn't expecting anything from her if sometimes she just knew what he wanted. 

If she did miss anything which she didn't notice, there was always a choice for him to just tell her and she felt that Bucky didn't use it. So she had asked him to let it flow the way it did.  _ That had spiralled into a bad joke and she had almost eye rolled herself with fondness to kingdom come.  _

To this day, Pepper took a good amount of amusement in knowing that he hadn't let those thoughts go until she had asked him out on a date. That about an hour and two slices of pizza in on the date, something had finally snapped in him when she asked about the food back in the Depression. 

He had broken out with so many stories like an overflowing dam and she had loved every passing second of it, if the way she had kissed him  _ good night _ that night meant anything. Bucky had feared that over the years, she'd grow tired of his problems but day after day, he just grew more sure of the love she put in him. 

He hadn't expected to love someone this way even when he was a dreamy teenager or a  _ ladies man  _ later as Steve used to say. He hadn't imagined that it could be this good and now he was experiencing it first hand. He was curious as to which fucking celestial power handled this because he had no idea if his life had taken the worst possible turn in his past or that he got an opportunity literally decades later to take the best possible turn. 

The day when they almost lost Tony to the wormhole had set a major trauma to both of them. It had been surprisingly insightful because Bucky had never considered Pepper to break so hard like he always did. He had known how soft and strong she was but he thought he was the only broken half of the pair which relied on the other for stability. 

That misbelief had sure disappeared when he had held her crying shivering body while she had curled up in his arms as if the pain was physical. She had been far too quiet and lithe as he had gently helped her take a shower. She had whispered at him, asking to be reassured about everything as she sat on their bed waiting for him to get dressed. 

Her words were toneless when she told him how that day just solidified her fear that she could lose her only family in some snap seconds. Bucky hadn't pretended to not hear her silent pleads when he had talked her down as he soothed her but he also hadn't given false hopes that everything would always be safe. 

He knew that it'd take long for her to grasp it but soon enough Pepper Potts will be at the head of the table with a three point plan on how to prevent it. Even if she had this urge to be ready for everything, that incident just marked how she could rely on Bucky too at times when it didn't work the right way.  _ She knew that, Bucky didn't and it felt good to realise she felt that. _

It had also been obvious that she had been hiding something, building up to a breaking point because they weren't used to keeping heavy secrets. Sure when she told Bucky about their baby, a flood of never ending fear made his blood run so cold that he could feel it freeze. But barely a second later as the other aspects hit him, the happiness bloomed so fast under his skin that he could combust. 

He could almost see her expecting the worst reaction to come up first and her surprise couldn't have been anymore obvious when he gave into the urge to be completely happy for once. The problems could wait for another day, he had to calm the tiniest surge of insecurity in his girlfriend first.  _ Lotsa good it did them. _

He was one of those sappy idiots who would absently stare off dreamily thinking about her. Now? She looked beautiful as ever in that oversized sweater that engulfed her as it curved over her bump in a breathtaking way. Her socked feet were shuffling a bit as if she was still deciding whether to come in or not.

The slight tilt in her posture intensified as Bucky shot up from his place, striding towards her. He held out a hand as if to ask if she needed the support and the second she nodded  _ yes,  _ he held her upright in his arm while his other hand delicately pressed the part on her back which had been hurting more recently.

They were somewhere between two months away from meeting their child and as terrifying as the thought was, it was infinitely more blissful. Moreover, the thought of others stopping their pelting of baby names on them couldn't be more relieving at the end. 

They had certainly whined like cattles when the couple told them that they didn't want to know the gender of their baby before their kiddo's birth, but soon the topic wasn't revisited out of respect for the couple's privacy. 

_ Excluding the 'Please name her Nova.' note Tony kept sending out of his gut feeling that he was going to have a niece for a godchild. Privacy was surely worshipped in this household. _

Which wasn't exactly the topmost priority for other people as Bruce had already walked in on them having sex once and Clint and Tony fought over who'd sit between them on movie nights before Pepper would scold them silent and get Nat or Steve for herself. And then Bucky had two kids on his arms which was ridiculously disgustingly lovable.

Pepper softly pressed her face closer on his chest, her legs shaky and that was indication enough for Bucky, "On the couch, doll? Or do you want to go lie down?"

She shook her head, "Couch is fine. Just wanna sit down." Her words were muffled under her deeper breaths. Bucky dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead as he led her back to the couch. 

Her sighs went quieter as her eyes shut close the second she relaxed on the couch, the tenseness however didn't go away from her body. 

And as if it clicked in Bucky's brain, he waited for her part of hurt to come up.

"It didn't hurt but I actually thought that I deserved to know it even though I'm not a part of the Avengers. We all basically live together and I do consider everyone close so I probably thought I was entitled to be a part of this. Well, at least Clint had the decency to tell me even in his state.", Pepper spoke in low relaxed yet practiced tones which betrayed her taut body. 

Bucky suppressed the piercing pain with all of his might as he wondered if anyone else was seeing how forcefully relaxed she was. Apparently Steve was the only one beside him who heard her but it was Tony who got up and shuffled towards her, kneeling down in front of Pepper and plucking her hands away from her lap to hold them in his own.

"I didn't hear you, Pep. Steve and Bucky visibly paled and Nat is staring at us weirdly so I kinda don't even want to know. What I do want you to know is it's barely been hours since us knowing and the first person I had asked Clint to confess to was you and he agreed because he knows you are always my go-to person to confide in.", Tony halted suddenly, his eyes snapping shut as he tilted his head down in realisation.

He barely took a second to stare right back hardly into Pepper's eyes though, "If even for one moment you thought that you didn't know about this because of some  _ Avengers only _ shit, you seriously think less of us. You and Buck make the protocol functioning and arrangement possible here. You've cleared the power obstacles we had in a snap. And those accidentally crashing down some conglomerates dealing on the wrong side? Don't get me started on you, Pep. If that doesn't make you involved enough, I don't know what does?"

Bucky sighed, pulling Pepper a little bit closer when she looked up at him with pondering eyes. He wished she'd just understand what he meant as he bent a little closer muttering a chant of apologies in her ear. 

There was something happening because JARVIS' voice flooded in and the others leapt into action but Bucky stayed closer to Pepper a minute more. It felt a lot lesser when she pulled away with half a smile and a little peck on his lips, tilting her head and whispering an  _ 'its okay'  _ on his lips. 

•••

"This is the last thing you should've done when we are quite literally on the precipice of no trust.", Tony's cold voice rang through the silence, giving a blatant display of his aversion hard enough to show that none of them was going to tolerate their play of plausible deniability.

Coulson sighed, looking at Fury who was standing behind him and glaring at everyone through narrowed eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose before he turned back to confront all of them. 

All of the Avengers were scattered all along the living room and Tony kind of sensed that this was Steve and Natasha's doing. Considering that Pep and Bucky were also present yet not in the direct line of vision meant they had all agreed to some secret agenda when Tony was busy cursing at Fury who had dropped in uniformed as JARVIS had shown him the live footage of them entering Stark Tower. 

Tony crossed his hands with his usual domineering posture as an open act of defiance, unmoving from the front and not letting Coulson and a very uninvited Fury move any inch closer inside the room. 

"It was going to happen anyway and we need his involvement in this. He has level nine security clearance being the Director." Agent still thought he could bait Tony in with that. The hesitance was more clear on his face as gave that stupid reason knowing that Tony already had his fingers dug quite deep in HYDRA's spine for more than a year.

Natasha's scoff couldn't have been more timely. She tilted her head and eyed Fury, "Make sure Clint doesn't reach you and we'll tolerate each other. Don't question what my fealty had been to you, Director. Shouldn't have tried playing twisted ways. Let's get done with this."

It was, as if on cue, a series of clicks and locks sounded which was proof enough for Tony that JARVIS had secured the area and disrupted any possible try of this meeting being recorded. 

The click of heels couldn't have felt more terrifying as Natasha walked to Coulson and passed him a tablet, "Multi-factor authentication before you can access your Stark server. Just do it." She turned to Fury, her eyebrows raised in a perfect arch but she walked back to the couch without a word. 

Just as JARVIS gave a pass on Coulson's confirmation, Bucky sauntered in closer and gave a half-aborted nod to Coulson, "Good to see you not dead." And well, Coulson had gotten pretty bad at suppressing smiles it seemed.

However, Tony's eyes were trained on Fury, expecting one wrong move before he pulled JARVIS in to kick the pirate's ass. The only person besides the residents of this Tower and Rhodey to know about this had been Coulson. 

Agent was not surprised by the amount of scrutiny imposed on Fury by the rest of them considering so much was at risk here. His first meeting with Bucky was rather scary with Colonel Rhodes hovering over him with a dead-set intention of dropping him from a F-22 Raptor if it went sideways and Pepper assuring him that no one would ever find it.

Coulson wasn't stupid to think that any of them gave empty threats as an Iron Man suit had stood in the corner of the room while Bucky had started piling information on him about the HYDRA infestation back in later '09s.

Fury hadn't shown any reaction to Bucky which was good enough for them but his eye did narrow to Pepper stalking with authority in his field of vision, her bump looking less noticeable in her oversized flowy blouse.

"Next time, try not to leave vital information when you're passing me half truths.", Fury grunted to Agent dismissively before he turned back all of his attention to Tony, "When you have been busy playing house, have you estimated the threat of having a dangerous brainwashed assassin living here? Moreover with the Avengers."

Tony felt his rage boil out of his skull as he tried tampering it down. He was not a genius for nothing, he knew that Fury had words with Coulson enough to know that Bucky had been better. The audacity of Fury to flippantly brush off the soldier's hard recovery back to life after suffering all of that and losing all of himself sent another wave of blinding anger in Tony.

Fury however didn't stop.

"Do you imagine the outrage that people will raise when they call out the entire Avengers  _ privileged _ because you did this, keeping an assassin for a pet that is, even if it is against the law just because you save our asses as a daily job?" 

There was this deafening silence that made it more maddening for Tony to open his mouth because he was seconds away from punching something, probably Fury's only eye.

"What makes you think the law isn't on our side?", Pepper's daunting chilled voice saved Tony from busted knuckles. 

He took deep breaths and gazed at Bucky who was giving a sinister sweet smile to Fury as he tapped a soothing rhythm on the couch where Pepper was sitting. 

"You should've been the last person here. None of this concerns you.", Fury spat back at her.  _ Again. The fucking audacity he had to say that under Tony's roof.  _

The apathetic dismissive hum she gave him before she leaned back on the couch with an eye roll - _ that was significantly similar to her 'wouldn't even give you the respect of acknowledgement' eye roll -  _ couldn't have established her level of supremacy more. 

Add on the varying degrees of  _ try-that-again  _ glare everyone was giving Fury was enough to spike Tony's adoration for them. God, they were a force to be reckoned with if people tried dismantling or badmouthing at the wrong time. 

Then there was a snort from Bruce and a second later, Steve was chuckling deep. Fury's head snapped to him as if he remembered about his presence now, "What?"

As much as the amusement covered Steve's face, the icy hardness in his eyes sure didn't play tricks, "Yeah. Her participation in uprooting HYDRA has been more than yours can ever be."

There was a relaxed stance in his strut though as he moved closer to the Director, "Dismissing the fact that you lied through your teeth about Coulson and we wouldn't have found out if Clint hadn't been nosy, you are walking in here, talking shit about two of us and questioning our strategy. Even if there weren't any initiative, these people could single-handedly tear HYDRA down without your help."

There was a discerning slip of faith in his voice that showed Steve's steel-strong trust in them and their capabilities, "Also please mind your language, sir. We have a protective AI who has been recently glitching the elevators and might just try it again when you leave."

The sweet smile he gave Fury was actually completely genuine. There was no malice or no threat but just a proud smile as he settled back against Bruce, the scientist giving a muffled chuckle as he nudged Steve's arm discreetly.

Tony was actually concerned about himself when his brain automatically slipped to compare Steve's sweet but dominant personality to something the supersoldier would like to do in bed. It took a good rein over his self control to clear those images out of his head but he fucking winked back at Steve when their eyes met.  _ Sometimes Tony wished he could ask Hulk to smash him. _

Steve grinned bashfully and Tony thanked every freaking celestial power in the universe that nobody saw Tony blush. Actually he should've thanked his AI dearest, because JARVIS took that time to speak up.

"Thank you, Captain Rogers. I'll surely try to keep Director Fury and Agent Coulson safe on their journey out."

The surge of pride through Tony over his J finally using his sass over someone who was not Tony was ground-breaking. That also meant that nobody was prepared when Clint's voice suddenly filtered in the room.

"JARVIS, my man, I love you. Not even the reality TV shows look this good on my TV as Fury getting fried does."

Cue Pepper. She breathed hard, her mood swinging all the way to  _ 'angry caretaker until you stay quiet or I'll reduce you to a state where you'll need care'. _

"I swear to god, if you have moved an inch from that bed where I left you, I'll absolutely-"

"Okay no, ask JARVIS. I didn't move at all. I just came back to the world of living and wanted to see this live and-"

"-get one of Tony's repulsor and burn you harder than ever-"

"-I've been a good boy, mom. Please stop giving me those horrifying images-"

"-because that drugs made you loopy and your stubborn ass tried getting up and broke a vase-"

"-but sweet Jesus, I've been on a roll with being high because I don't remember that-"

"-Clint, stop."

"-shit, how am I not dead? How did I get away with breaking it?"

Pepper sighed, rubbing her forehead as she got up, walking towards the elevator with a grinning Bruce and an amused Natasha in tow. She gave a passing kiss to Bucky, "We'll just check on that idiot and then I'll rescue Bruce with tea. I am seriously worried about how green he went when Fury spouted shit."

Bruce gave an indignant whine but didn't give up the grin as Pepper and Natasha twinned up their terrifying sweet smiles with polite  _ 'excuse me' _ s. 

And well, Tony didn't poke Bucky for sighing softly at them all. Steve did. Even if he denied it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It actually hurts when I see that Bucky/Pepper fics are so less, even if it's a bit unusual to some. There's also this risk that people won't read this fic because that ship is listed as the one of the main ones after Steve/Tony and I also couldn't care less about it. They are the loves of my life for a reason and boy, am I gonna keep writing a fuck ton about them. I'll also write other fics about them soon. And the others. Loads of others. Nvm.
> 
> Feel free to pop some suggestions or prompts to me. Or even if you wanna talk or be friends, ignoring the anti-social-ness in generic.  
> My tumblr is tonyscapsicle too. Though I might reply a teensy-weensy bit late.
> 
> All I do is keep studying or take a break to write fics which has been so good for me. It won't be a lie when I say this is keeping me sane so thank you very much for all the reads, kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscriptions and just anything.  
> Everything has already crossed my expectations and I am beyond grateful for that.


End file.
